devwithanxiety

Thank you very much for taking the time to write this reply. I found it very useful and reassuring.

> If that is the case you have to learn to let it go.

Yeah I totally agree. I'm hoping councilling sessions, CBT and journalling will help to reinforce this attitude. And thank you for the jounalling prompts. I've jotted them down and will be trying them over the next few weeks.

Funny you mentioned music, I just started learning and it has been great fun. I agree about finding something to obsess about that makes you happy.

Thank you once again!

True. It doesn't have to be software. For now I do want to stay with my career given how much I've invested into it. Im mid 40s so a career change now feels a bit of a hastle.

Yes I was on this in the first year of my anxiety but for me it didn't really help. But I know for others it's been extremely helpful. Glad it worked well for you!

Thanks! Fortunately I'm not that bad to the point of being miserable. 3 years ago I tried lexapro for 3-6 months. It worked somewhat but was more of a bandaid. Beyond medication, I'm not quite sure what else a doctor can do that a councillor can't provide.

Hey thanks for the tips!

> Don't accept a job where teams do Scrum.

Yeah I haven't enjoyed working under points and sprints. There just never seems to be a logical end to your work or even a pause.

> Find a place where you are helping the business run, but not directly producing the product that defines the business.

I like this a lot and it makes perfect sense. Thank you very much.

Thanks for the advice and book recs! I will take a look at them. I have been given some CBT techniques by my councillor but always good to read up on other systems as well.

> Don't spend much time analysing some deep-seated reason for your anxiety.

Yeah I feel like I'm supposed to be able to instantly see the problem on a little introspection yet that never happens. Constantly wondering why I feel like this doesn't seem to help much.

> You will not be making good decisions while anxious, and other careers will not be less stressful.

Good point. Most well paid careers do pay well because there's a demanding aspec t to them.

Yeah I guess this is true about "fast paced". It's probably just a buzz word everybody uses. Thanks and I hope you are able to get over your anxiety too!

Fortunatley its not that severe and so I'm not taking medication. I can see them being useful in certain situations to give people really suffering some much needed space, but in my case I feel they would just be a bandaid.

I agree with exercise and diet. I exercise 4-5 times a week and my diet is pretty good. All home cooking with lots of vegetables and not overly oily, salty etc.

> Just remember a job is a job. They are disposable.

This certainly is a good thing to remind myself of. Definitely takes a bit of the edge of.

Thank you for chipping in, I really appreciate it.

Thanks!

> I think the most important thing is a sympathetic boss who you connect with and who doesn't pressure you constantly. How were your previous bosses?

The previous job the boss was quite 90% of the time easy to work with. But this was let down by the remaining 10% where he could be rude, passive agressive and overbearing. He is an amazing engineer but sadly his soft skills were lacking. It definitely contributed to the anxiety.

> I think getting fired once or even twice doesn't mean at all you have no way of succeeding in your next role. It just means you had one bad role.

Thank you for the encouraging words. I definitely think my last role was a bad fit and contributed to anxiety. A better team will probably be a big help in getting over this.

Thanks again for taking the time out to reply! Much appreciated.