skeptical1884

Thanks for the curiosity. The most attractive aspect of fatherhood is two fold: not having to be an incubator while also sharing genetic material, and being shielded from the brunt of the judgement when a ball inevitably gets dropped.

The first since I am highly conscious of my physical and mental health, and I am terrified of haywire hormones and bodily changes out of my control.

The second due to the societal norms put onto mothers where I am from (SoCal). When a child shows up to school in dirty clothes, the mom is blamed, not the father absent of other evidence.

It is also my direct lived experience; my father provided, my mother worked while also caring for us, and bore all the responsibility and blame while my dad got to do the fun part.

I heard my mother complain about her career sacrifice, of cleaning the snot off her fine blouses when I would cry into her arms. I resolved to make different choices, but in doing so, I ask what other choices could I make? If these are the two role models presented to me, why would I ever want the position of my mom?

What kind of confrontational approach do you mean?

In a similar vein to this essay, I want to be a father so badly. I love being a woman, and am satisfied with the machinery I have been given.

But having to be the incubator means I am saddle with the full brunt of the responsibility and expectation once the baby is born. I go from woman to mother. And with it comes judgement and duties, and goes freedom and care-free living.

I want to be a father so I can raise a kid, provide, teach and impart to a little slice of my own genes. And be praised whenever a diaper is changed or I fetch the little one from school.

But alas I was born with a womb, a sexual attraction to men, and the drive for a high-impact career. The three seem incompatible.

This was a really interesting read, I love when blog posts give a little slice of life behind an often unspoken phenomenon. I feel like so many people a susceptible to “the feed” and what they perceive others are doing or value. If someone has a good marketing strategy, and a VP is doing their job by researching on LinkedIn, seems like a recipe for disaster. You could only hope most VPs aren’t doing this but…