nolamark

I agree, but...

The challenge is how do you really know if you love doing research, committing to graduate school, before really doing research? It is hard to know how the sausage is made without spending/doing time at a meat-processing plant. My undergraduate experience doing research, including be published, was much different than the graduate experience. And graduate experience was much different than the assistant professor experience.

It took me two trips to grad school to get a PhD. The first on their terms, I burned out. The second, on my terms, was a much better/different experience.

Damn, has it really been 40 years. I remember chatting with Cliff about the book on USENET. I'm glad time has been kind to us.

I think you should focus on letting yourself grow. Perhaps you will learn something that makes you decide to pursue a field you didn't know anything about when you started college. If you finish in CS great, if you switch to something else that is also a positive if it fills you with "joy".

Focus on learning to express yourself clearly, in English and in code.

Focus on learning how to learn, how to acquire new knowledge, and how to enjoy the process. Focus on learning how to work with others, especially those you don't agree with or like.

Don't forget to have fun. There is plenty to be had if you avail yourself of the opportunities.

"This work is in part a collaboration with folks currently and previously at CMU, including Jenny Lin, Tom Price, Jim McCann, and Hannah Fechtner."

In the case of APPL it is fun to think about what the money I spent on a computer that year like a Power Mac G4 could have been worth today if I had invested in the stock instead.

I remember local developer group chats about BTC / ETH in early 2010s. We met weekly next to local restaurant bar. I like to calculate what if I had skipped a meal or a drink one night and instead bought BTC or ETH with the that money what it would be worth today.

Personally I find it really fun. Helps keep chasing money in perspective.

Could have, should have, would have.

Company I was working for didn't go public until the end of March that year. No horror stories from me, was a fun time to be working, lots of great memories.

but a great bet as the bubble was bursting was not mining equipment for the prospectors, but instead energy drinks for the coders. Specifically $1000 invested in Monster Beverage Corporation (MNST) would be worth $1,187,849 today.

same $1000 invest peak dot com on March 10, 2000 Apple (AAPL): Value today : $266,862. Nvidia (NVDA): Value today : $882,065. Amazon (AMZN): Value today : $256,482.

I agree that it can be fun. I also devised a retirement plan as a graduate student, figuring out what sum of money I would need to live the rest of my life living the graduate student lifestyle without the hassle of being enrolled. Less than a decade after finishing my PhD I was able to walk away from my career into that lifestyle. Certainly not for everyone, but if it floats your boat, it is certainly an achievable plan.

I do hope you write the entire entire essay.

Guess my question is did you have any plans what to do with that freedom? Or did the vision just stop with freedom?

Must be I was less ambitious than you. I too started out with goal of tenure and financial independence. 3 years in on tenure track I figured it was easier just to get financial independence and give myself tenure than to play someone's game.

One I reached financial independence (probably a much lower threshold than your), I didn't have any trouble find trouble finding things to fill my days with fulfilling activities that I had long put off. Always fun stuff to learn.

So interested to learn if it was that you still had something you felt you had to prove? Just plan inertia?

Can really put my finger on it, but what if in "I am (not) a failure" essay in addition "Lesson Learned" for each attempt, you had a "Joy Experienced" (perhaps too corny) section as well.