maligree
Joined 14 years ago
Joined 14 years ago
Isn't the honest answer "I don't know. No-one knows."?
You also helped me realize that part of all this mess is that I HAVE been feeling old. Well, maybe not old... older. I feel like I got hyper-focused on being a programmer (and I feel I never explicitly committed to it, just sort of went along with it) and now I just realized it's been 16 years.
Something I realized when reading your response is that I winced a tiny bit when you mentioned "finding meaning in your work" - as if that was something I did not believe could be achieved.
I think in my mind it's more about going to work and doing things are not... so made-up. I find this extremely hard to communicate. This may be due to me being too far removed from the actual impact whatever we deliver may have. Or as other posters have pointed out, lack of confidence in the general mission.
Or maybe I haven't yet figured out the real reason and this is just something my brain has made up.
Again, thanks for your response.
Funny thing. A few months ago I've also decided to improve my communication skills - both in reading and writing. (Long way to go...) It did hit me that whatever I end up doing in the long run, communication is the only 100%-reusable skill that can pay off anywhere. And so much time is wasted due to sub-optimal communication.
Forgive me if my central European bias is showing, but I've always discounted how important it is to align yourself with the mission of the company you decide to work for. Seemed to me like it's a complete bonus and luxury if the two overlap, and the default is just... work.
Of course as long as the company isn't actively working against something you would consider your values.
But it's definitely a question that can't be ignored if one wants to do some digging.
Acting on it, though... :-)
Life seems balanced now, I get to scratch my itches, not unhappy at my current job, and I don't feel like I'm saying "no" and making excuses. A tiny step here, a tiny step there, worst case it turns out to be a pleasant stroll.
One related story I like is how Assetto Corsa Competizione devs bumped into "weird" behavior emerging from their simulations which seemed like a bug - but then confronted with the actual manufacturers and found out that it happens in real life as well:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFxIZ-9Awj4
Highly recommended, video is titled "A traction control bug that was a realistic feature".
EDIT: And this is before you get to aerodynamics, which is a whole different can of worms. With todays GT3 cars, how you simulate the front splitter and rear diffuser can make or break the accuracy of the simulation. It's fantastic stuff. Wish I worked on this day-to-day. On the other hand I have trouble putting it down and going to bed when doing it as a hobby, so...
hackattic.com whenvroom.com