grepLeigh
Joined 5 years ago
Joined 5 years ago
Market conditions aside, the points the OP blog post makes about asymmetrical value are evergreen.
> I have an internal KPI: if in the last three days I haven’t spent at least 30 minutes playing with my kid, there’s something seriously wrong
I think I'm interpreting this ungenerously, because my knee-jerk reaction was to wonder about who is handling the other 12+ waking hours a day.
Depending on the task/behavior, you may carry the same attitude into the medium/long term, OR figure out how to course-correct medium/long term to align with your values. E.g., if one of your core values is militant conservation of water, either because it's expensive or one of the disappearing resources on Earth, you might strategize ways to conserve your energy to do the best possible dishwasher-loading job every day. That's what I was getting at when I said these type of tasks are "microcosms" because sometimes they reveal misalignment of values.
Why do you say "therapist" here (with the air quotes)?
This blog excerpt explains the idea [1]:
> Knowing this week was going to be a lot, I’ve been living by “run the dishwasher twice”. What the hell does that even mean?! Essentially it means to do whatever is the path of least resistance to get shit done. The advice came from a therapist to a woman who was feeling very low & was struggling with everyday tasks such as doing the dishes. She didn’t have the mental capacity to scrub dishes before putting them in her crappy dishwasher so she wasn’t doing them & they were building up & causing her more anxiety. Her therapist said not to rinse the dishes & just run the dishwasher twice, even three times if that’s what it took to get them clean. It was a game-changer for her, one that enabled her to do a small task in an imperfect way just to get it done.
I wish the OP article had dug a little bit deeper into the psychology behind daily task conflict in relationships. The dishwasher is one of many microcosms (laundry, car, pets, etc) that I wish I'd paid more attention to in my relationships, because these conversations really do reveal relationship dynamics around HUGE issues like compromise, empathy, perfectionism, and judgmental behavior.
[1] https://thebackfenceblog.wordpress.com/2021/08/27/run-the-di...
You're right that this kind of novelty-seeking content has a profound impact on the brain. It's really interesting to see finally see longitudinal research, plus research on screens/novelty on child development (search for $thing + "psychosocial development").
One of the most encouraging thing I've taken away is that neutral pathways are still quite plastic well into adulthood.
For example, here's an experiment to try if you wake up and scroll in bed. After you do your morning routine, jot down a mood score (-1 feeling crummy, 0 meh neutral, +1 feeling good). You can do this for a week or two if you want to collect control data. Then, force yourself to get out of bed without looking at your phone (buy an alarm if you have too). You should see changes in your mood log within a week. Sleep regulates/replenishes dopamine levels, and scrolling through a dopamine wonderland first thing in the AM can result in dopamine dysregulation for the rest of the day. Try it!
The difference between body doubling and "working in an office setting" is mutual agreement to avoid distracting each other. I usually combine body doubling with a pomodoro timer, so 25-30 minutes and then a break. This isn't conducive to deep flow work, but it's great for getting your taxes done, booking a trip, researching a dreaded thing, reviewing a PR, etc.
I'd love to know if my superficial impression of Microsoft's culture is wrong. I'm sure there's wild variance between organizational units, of course. I'm excluding the Xbox/games orgs from my mental picture.
Back to the reality where money is a real factor, what was the difference in compensation like? Was it like a 10x difference or closer to 2x?
I'm asking because I'm a software engineer/founder, but I stepped back from my career due to burnout. I went back to college to study physics and geek out on quantum computing, but I know it'll take grad school (likely a PhD plus postdoc) to grok the full stack. Trying to get a sense of what might be ahead of me.
Tweets: @grepLeigh