bubblecheck

what not to write:

* successfully gaslighted target during the death of a parent using hacked iMessages

Thanks for your investigation.

Yes, I've seen defcon presos on this topic. It wouldn't take great lengths to do so for specific users, if desired. Doing so would be relatively trivial.

Proving a negative (i.e. disproving the claim) here is essentially impossible. Yet, without evidence there's simply no reason to make such an assertion.

Personally, I trust HN and doubt they have any such functionality in place. Even so, can @dang or anyone confirm/deny?

I've walked about 12-15 miles a day for >2 months now, while homeless. I found myself unable to perform manual labor on top of the walking for any sustained amount of time. Extended fatigue takes over.

For a sedentary/desk job, I suspect that maintaining this quantity of walking daily would be feasible, and beneficial, long term.

I am living on the streets. Sleep is difficult.

Also, just wanted to add a point. I find human culture to be garbage, and have found it to be garbage ever since experiencing an ongoing pattern of abuse as a child.

I experienced bullying and abuse as an adult as well: at work, hell, even on hn in past accounts.

Whether there are good people is irrelevant. There are shitty people everywhere. One can try to ignore them, but they are still part of this species. Primitive, babbling apes.

Again, death cannot come soon enough. I pray to God to please kill me in my sleep tonight. A prayer that has yet to be answered.

This is my sixth night being 100% homeless (on the streets with no vehicle, no private place to go). Sleep for the past five nights has ranged from non-existent to a few nodding hours in long sleeves laying down in various public places.

Compared to a week ago, I finally started to notice cognitive decline today. My words don't come out as smoothly, and I have gaps in thoughts.

Frankly, it's nothing like it was seven years ago after a bad break-up. That time, I got maybe 2-7 hours of sleep a week for a solid two months or so. It is an awful feeling being wide awake, unable to sleep at all, yet: dead tired, suicidal in a persistent 24hr a day drawing-towards-death sense, utterly afraid and unable to actually follow through.

It's odd to me that my situation then was far, far better than it is now. Sleep these past five homeless evenings with a ruined life -- even missing a few nights and only catching a few hours these past few -- are far better than those restless post-breakup nights seven years ago.

My life fell apart since seven years ago in numerous ways. Programming and participation in technology, generally, for me is completely dead and has been for years now. Perhaps the extended sleep deprivation removed any remaining desire to live. I've certainly been dead inside since then, moreso than in the past.

Still unable to finish suicide. The desire doesn't go away, ever. The terrifying fear of death, however, seems unlikely to ever dissipate, so actually completing suicide seems increasingly unlikely as the decades pass. This has been an ongoing desire since grade school.

I am still awaiting the big sleep. It can't come soon enough.

I have been steadily suicidal for a long time and have not completed it.

No help is requested or required.

I am now 100% unsheltered and in survival mode. I didnt sleep last night due to this.

I am charging my phone at a food establishment here. Then I need to decide between unsheltered sleep and use the last of my cash for a rope, which will be a waste since I am scared to face death.

I've bought and discarded complete, 100% planned inert gas setups with regulator, bag, etc, all planned incl ropes to hold my hands down

I've bought and discarded numerous ropes over the years, most suitable for the less common drop hang.

While I do oscillate, it's only between "suicidal ideation daily" and "i am executing on a plan to attempt completion."

I can count the weeks on one hand where I've gone entirely without suicidal thoughts, since decades ago. It's constant, just varies in intensity and highly situational - eg my shelter is gone and I am back contemplating the end

the thing is. I dont want help, I dont really want any more advice or ideas. Prolonging an unwanted life is burdensome to others; now to kind strangers on hn. It's a pattern that I wish to break but unfortunately I will not seek to rebuild a life again.

This really leaves scraping the bottom to survive while avoiding outright suicide plan follow-thru. right now i am stuck trying to decide between unsheltered homelessness in an unwanted life, in pain anyway, and just getting it over with anyway

__

The fact is, I gave up at age 11. I decided that I would not participate meaningfully in a corrupt society that tolerates abuse and violence. As per the study, leaving these matters unresolved turned out causing me and my loved ones a great deal of pain. When others hurt you, you are responsible for self care unless (and until) civil compensation is sought and awarded. That isn't feasible for children except in egregious cases of intentional harm.

What got me was how the bully increased his ongoing abuse against me once he saw it was hurting me. Behind my back or to my face, "Just teasing you." No, bully, telling me that my parents are garbage, my family is shit, and that I'll grow up to be a serial killer because your abuse hurt me is blatantly malicious. Totally unprovoked multi year bullying, obviously hurting me, no response from teachers -- finally broke me. The truly damaging physical abuse started thereafter. I forgive you, but the damage was extensive, and snowballed into a lifetime of torment inc'h aforementioned extensive physical abuse. I am totally ruined.

The hard reality: it was 100% on me or my family to address my needs to defend against this early on. We are responsible to protect ourselves. You can't expect a school to step up esp when you're in an atheist (non church going fam) in a highly religious/tribal affluent community.

I've gone the other way entirely, self-sabotage and positioning myself to be taken advantage of repeatedly; a theme that plays out consistently, further cementing cynicism about human culture.

Violence in popular culture and justified by national military apparati causes cognitive dissonance in a child who seeks peaceful interactions, but is instead exposed to systemically-condoned violence.

death is the ultimate gift, assuming there is no existence beyond our human life

stopped trying to cope years ago, on my way out

I heard that child:child violence is not tolerated any longer, at least not to the same extent as what I experienced decades ago.