androidoka

This is a part of the issue, knowing the rules but nonetheless not following them. And then — culturally unaware — thinking it's ok because nobody says anything.

Japanese on 恩 describes obligation (not necessarily with the negative connotation of the English word). Obligation to one's lord, to the emperor, one's parents, etc. I recommend Chrysanthemum and the sword by Ruth Benedict for a more detailed understanding of this very important, albeit fading, part of Japanese culture.