Comment by Maursault

I would say two things were equally wrong in the OPs anecdote: one person was offensive, and one person was offended. While it seems just to entirely blame the offensive person, ego is a thing not good and taking offense is a choice. Unless physically striking someone, it is not possible to hurt someone's feelings. Feelings are important, no doubt, but feelings are entirely the responsibility of the feeler. One may have to think about where feelings come from and how they are actually caused to realize this. Every individual is responsible for their own actions and themselves, for their own body, and for their own body's releases of their own hormones, adrenaline, noradrenaline, cortisol, or whatever it is that is the actual functional cause of the feelings. Taking offense is just as bad as offending. Humility, ducks back, this is ideally what should occur when someone is offensive, but... of course, people should not be offensive, either, they should be kind and empathetic. No one is perfect, but if they have two cheeks, one always has the opportunity to emulate perfection. A lot of people are rude jerks sometimes, but rather than taking offense, we can choose to be awesome instead.