I feel trapped by this because I cannot count on others to make the best decision..or right decision ethically and for decency...seems they choose to make the best for THEM at my expense. My life was ruined by medical errors. I was told to "trust the professionals" and when I did they damaged me and took from me, then the systems and people meant to help when that happens refused. Family bailed. Years and years of this culminated in a suicide attempt recently that failed due to intervention, and those same professionals and family ignored my documented wishes to be let go and "saved" me into a worse situation with even more needs and less to no help. They don't care about me at all...just the best decision for THEIR feelings.
I'd love to live...have wanted to the entire time...but people can only take so much. I had one great chance a couple years ago, only one in all this time, and more health issues and my fear of suffering more caused me to lose that. There isn't enough help...people just take more and ignore and throw platitudes. What all of this life has taught me is 99% of people are in it entirely for themselves and how I lived and what I believed in was naive and stupid. So the best decision for me now is to get out of this shit world but I am not even allowed to do that. Just more nonsense and symptom covering...never root cause solutions. There is no lifeline...no support...just rationalization and calculus devaluing my life. "Best decisions".
I'd love to live...have wanted to the entire time...but people can only take so much. I had one great chance a couple years ago, only one in all this time, and more health issues and my fear of suffering more caused me to lose that. There isn't enough help...people just take more and ignore and throw platitudes. What all of this life has taught me is 99% of people are in it entirely for themselves and how I lived and what I believed in was naive and stupid. So the best decision for me now is to get out of this shit world but I am not even allowed to do that. Just more nonsense and symptom covering...never root cause solutions. There is no lifeline...no support...just rationalization and calculus devaluing my life. "Best decisions".