it falls on my shoulders to deal with similar personnel issues.Sure, but you aren't right this minute finding it so impossible to deal with that you need to get advice from internet strangers on how to handle it. And perhaps one factor is gender.
People often set different expectations for women than for men. Those expectations can be unreasonable.
When my oldest son was a little boy, he came to me every single day, multiple times a day to ask if he could use the bathroom. I was all sweetness and light and reassured him that of course he could. That's what it was there for.
This was an aggravating and enormous imposition. Both my kids have special needs. I have health problems. I was chronically short of sleep. No amount of reassuring him that he could use the bathroom any time he wanted ever put a stop to him nagging me for warm fuzzy reassurance.
After two years of this, I began replying "No, you cannot use the bathroom. Tie a knot in it. In fact, I plan to have both bathrooms removed."
He would look at me with gears turning behind his eyes, then walk off to the bathroom. After a week or two, the questions stopped. He just began using the toilet without first imposing on me for reassurance that it was okay.
My son had never done the same thing to his dad or anyone else. He only imposed on me -- endlessly -- for completely unnecessary feel good reassurance about ten times a day every single day until I stopped feeling obligated to provide that for bathroom trips.
Women are often expected to be bottomless dispensers of positive emotional experiences to a degree and in a manner that is not typically expected of men. Her peacemaking duties may not be what you are experiencing. And it is worth considering the possibility that employees are imposing excessively upon her.
Sure, but you aren't right this minute finding it so impossible to deal with that you need to get advice from internet strangers on how to handle it. And perhaps one factor is gender.
People often set different expectations for women than for men. Those expectations can be unreasonable.
When my oldest son was a little boy, he came to me every single day, multiple times a day to ask if he could use the bathroom. I was all sweetness and light and reassured him that of course he could. That's what it was there for.
This was an aggravating and enormous imposition. Both my kids have special needs. I have health problems. I was chronically short of sleep. No amount of reassuring him that he could use the bathroom any time he wanted ever put a stop to him nagging me for warm fuzzy reassurance.
After two years of this, I began replying "No, you cannot use the bathroom. Tie a knot in it. In fact, I plan to have both bathrooms removed."
He would look at me with gears turning behind his eyes, then walk off to the bathroom. After a week or two, the questions stopped. He just began using the toilet without first imposing on me for reassurance that it was okay.
My son had never done the same thing to his dad or anyone else. He only imposed on me -- endlessly -- for completely unnecessary feel good reassurance about ten times a day every single day until I stopped feeling obligated to provide that for bathroom trips.
Women are often expected to be bottomless dispensers of positive emotional experiences to a degree and in a manner that is not typically expected of men. Her peacemaking duties may not be what you are experiencing. And it is worth considering the possibility that employees are imposing excessively upon her.