It's not this way everywhere! At my (mid-sized, public, SF-based) workplace, I work 8 hours/day, good postmortems, and understanding at all levels of the importance of work-life balance and how oncall (a sad inevitability) should work.
If your employer doesn't do this, move on - that's how things change.
If your employer doesn't do this, move on - that's how things change.