workerthrow632

> That's a sign that your resume looks good, but you interview poorly.

Yeah, exactly. If you're 'leaking' at one point, that's what you should focus on.

I just don't think there is much more I can do without feeling I am being fake. I could _probably_ take ADHD meds and zone out a bit but certainly isn't great.

I don't ever disclose any of this even to current employers. I don't think I come across as "talented jerk", I think I come across as probably more of a pushover than I actually am so that I don't veer into people thinking I am a "stuck up bitch" (to be quite blunt about my concern).

I will consider other factors I can tweak that may give a better impression, but I do think I come across more as "eccentric fast talker who lives tech" than "buttoned up white collar" and that may be part of the problem; that I am trying the wrong kind of 'puzzle' and there is a company out there that does want my type.

> But it might be more likely that if many different groups of people have all been interested in you on paper but then you didn't meet expectations

This is likely what it is to be quite honest. It's that constant issue of "need experience to get experience". No one is willing to take a 'risk' on me being a principal or architect because I don't have on paper experience on that title despite doing that level of work.

I have all the hallmarks: mentorship, well-written documentation, talks, open source work. The only really left to consider is:

1) I come across as insane, people see that, I don't, and they choose not to involve themselves.

2) They have pre-conceived notions of what someone of that 'tier' looks / acts / sounds like.

I do understand that at that tier there is a concrete expectation of external communication but the weird part is I already do that anyway.

> Can someone please explain to me how you work 200%?

Come in early, skip lunch, dinner at your desk, take your computer home, work while watching Netflix, take your computer to bed, sleep with it next to you.

I did this for a year.

> not even unpacked all of their belongings after a year or more.

I stopped having any personal effects at work. Purely mercenary.

It makes it easier when I get walked out when the C-Suite decides they need higher bonuses.

> A lot of these radically flat orgs expect ICs as "senior engineers" or "staff engineers" or some other made up title to do some ad-hoc mix of IC, people management, project management, etc.

Then they fire someone randomly and wonder why the company fell apart because that random was doing the bulk of the unappreciated 'glue' work but because their manager never recognized them for that work or bothered to promote them, no one knew besides their co-workers

Companies need to figure out how to convert illiquid equity into actual liquidity. I don't get how it is fair founders get to sell their shares but employees don't. It's probably why startups are majorly lacking in really senior talent: only newbies think startups will do right by them.

That and focus on profitability to pay out employees with profit shares.

I finally 'quiet quit' when I realized being a minority in tech means I'll never break the glass ceiling past senior engineer regardless of how hard I work or how visibly I help. Even in school I was shoved into secretarial work until I finally convinced professors to let me work solo and would smoke entire groups.

People for some reason think I am good enough to interview for lead or architect then seem surprised when I show up and saw "Ooo, hmm. I think you are a better fit for senior." or "Hmm. I think we'll hire you as a second or third hire instead" or when I am inside, I am told for years "you're up for a promotion".

I am disregarded and mistreated, treated like a pariah. I thought if I worked hard enough, people will like me and see my value; a meritocracy! Nope. It's got nothing to do with actual skills and everything to do with who you are and who you schmooze.

It's weird as fuck that they are interested and crawling over me until they talk to me as a person. I am doubtful it is my abilities. It's likely because I am autistic and a little eccentric (talk fast / ADHD & a little overwhelming to talk to if I am being honest). I am well-spoken and fairly clear to speak to, I actually give talks about my work. I just chalk it up to wanting a square when I am pretty clearly and happily a circle.

I can either bury myself and personality to become a grey corporate square or I can shut my mouth and disregard the dudebros that seem to only promote fellow dudebros that ask me how to solve their problems then pretend they didn't.