unrestifarian

As someone who's been in tech since the early 90s had many tech jobs I can share some wisdom:

* in programming terms, it could be the instance for the class you hate and not the class itself, or it could be the module you hate, or the library, or the language itself, or the project itself (or maybe even just your coworkers). advice: explore other tech/projects you might enjoy more. find out exactly what it is you don't like, so you can avoid it in the future.

* if it's the meaninglessness of your situation that bothers you, find another company that aligns with your values. hunt down those companies and keep applying.

* if you aren't sure what your values are, take a break and explore: i can say the best moments of my life were when i was laid off for several mths, i took classes at community college, 'inane' classes - moviemaking, archery, i learned how to butcher a chicken and fish, just because. it all gave me perspective.

* finally, having worked at for-profit and non-profit companies, in general the highest-paying jobs generally care least about you as a human - despite the nice showy 'perks', they will cut you at the drop of a hat if they don't need you, or if there's a recession.

Second Nietzsche - Beyond Good & Evil + Thus Spake Zarathustra.

TPZ is really a poetic/mock religious text version of BG&E.

The first few chapters of BG&E ask the question: why we humans seek knowledge at all? What drives the will to knowledge. . .feelings? A question most scientists never even think to ask. . but that seems the most radical question of all (as in getting to the 'root' of it all).

Be interested in what you're learning. It's that simple.

If you're interested or even better yet passionate, you will naturally circumvent blockers (e.g. say 'no' to things blocking your goal without hesitation). You will naturally prioritize accordingly.

People who need 'systems' to do their personal stuff most likely aren't that into it. Systems are for businesses and managers. Sure, they can help - but. . .people who are experts are most likely interested in what they're doing and have worked at it tirelessly - because they're passionate or deeply interested in it. They will naturally gravitate to learning/doing the thing that they later on become experts at.

Einstein had a quote about how learning is a lot easier if you're passionate or interested. He was right.

100%. Look at nature and human history:

Cycles are inherent to nature and humans are natural. Planets move cyclically. We experience day followed by nite and the seasons change (in most places anyway). I'm of the opinion that taking time off is natural. It's what agriculture has naturally 'demanded' of farmers (or used it before tech disrupted things) for eons.

Of course there's a spectrum as well -> we all have varying levels of 'passion' - some prefer depth and can go for a long time. Some prefer more breadth over depth. Both kinds of people have their value and probably need each other in a symbiotic way.

Just try to find the balance that fits your personality.

i think it's funny how speaking of Agile is like speaking of religion or politics. everyone has an opinion and it's always a spark to fiery conversation.

like religion, I've seen Agile done poorly (extremely damaging and counter-productive) and done satisfactorily (not harming anyone with some mild benefit). theory is only half the equation, a big part of the equation is methodology and execution.

A lot like your situation the tables have turned - my wife has made partner and now making 2x my tech salary.

Since before we were married we've each made a relative contribution to a joint bank acct and it's worked fine. (e.g. we both put 70% of our income in one pot). I like this approach because it's a balance of 'whomever can afford more, pays more', but also it allows for individual reward for someone working his/her butt off (e.g. if someone gets a huge bonus). I see it has a good hybrid approach.

For years, I was putting in more income as the higher earner and now the tables have turned. :)

Sounds like you're a dude with sexist assumptions about parenthood: "the mother necessarily has to do 1.5 or 2 full-time jobs."

I'm a dad with two kids and it's fair to do that my wife AND i both have 2 full time jobs: yes, as a man, I do laundry, bathe the kids, put them to bed, drive them to activities, cook, do dishes - as much as she does (some more, some less but it evens out). Welcome to the 21st century - turns out parenthood can be 'man's work' just as much as it can be 'woman's work.'

Onward from that initial poor and sexist assumption. . .

If you want to read up on the empirical reasons for having kids based on 'happiness' as the criterion, check out 'Stumbling on Happiness.' In that book, it documents that, yes, parents are overall less happy than non-parents (moment-to-moment).

Despite this fact parents arguably can have deeper moments of happiness (however less infrequent).

As my mom once said wisely - "no one ever reasonably decides to have kids."

If you're using reason and rationality as deciders, most likely you won't have kids. . .and that's fine since our planet seems pretty full and humans consume way too much.

I have felt and feel a lot of what you are saying. Realizations I've made:

1) Constant change is a huge part of the software industry - we have to accept it, or become a craftsman focused on potentially moribund tech, or get out (and do construction or become a career less prone to change). I'm in favor of the latter two as I don't want to constantly be learning new tech that I don't like.

2) Not all new tech is good. So much of tech is the result young kids re-writing a solution that already exists. A lot of the times the new solution is worse or not any better than what exists. Occasionally it's better - but I think that's rare. I see it as a law of nature - the kids want ownership and maybe they're right that something about the old way of doing things is bad or cumbersome - thus new tech is born (even if not terribly better than what had existed).

3) AWS has been around forever - my company has been using it for over a decade now, so I don't think of it as novel or new. Yes, it's a pain in the arse in some ways, yes it's clunky, yes IAM sucks to configure - but it does have its advantages - scaling/replicatability. I suggest making friends with it, OR committing to not 'doing devops' or being 'full-stack' and being OK with that. It's not going away!

Most important message: - focus on tech you enjoy (however narrow or broad) - because that's what will keep you passionate - and most likely will lead you to being good at it (and thus employable).

Two-fold Motivation: Diagnosed as pre-diabetic, reducing global warming

Recently learned that saturated animal fat is linked to a depletion of insulin producing beta cells in the pancreas (thus causing type II diabetes). For some reason everyone talks about sugar as the bad guy, but animal fat plays a big part.

This and of course, the huge cost of meat on our environment.

Yep, sounds like basic mindfulness. In meditation 101, you sit calmly and observe your thoughts, as if an unbiased bystander. You might imagine putting post-it notes on your thoughts. 'Thinking of eating', 'Worried about work' - then, later, you might dive into questions about the labels themselves: Are they biased, are they how I truly feel? why do i feel that way? am I reacting from emotion? what do my thoughts and their labels say about me and my mental state? etc. . .ideally, this process brings mental clarity.

Yes, you've read my mind, somehow. I've gotten into prepping.

The pandemic, supply chain issues, an increasing rise in authoritarianism, climate change, and now the war in Ukraine have all evidenced the fact that the assumption that 'progress is inevitable' is, in many ways a delusional idea - at the very least, to be in a state of denial of world events.

In my view, being a prepper, these days is a 'normal' and very rational reaction. Not being a 'prepper' is perhaps to be being in denial of what's been happening int the last 5-10 yrs.

My grandma who had survived the Great Depression, used to have a huge pantry in her house filled with canned foods. As kids, we were bewildered by it. Now, I completely understand it - as she had lived through many of the things we are living through now.

Yes, I am. I believe benefits kick in at 30+ hours at most places in the U.S.

So a 30-ish hr workweek would be the most beneficial to the employee.

Absolutely, yes. I'm not sure why more companies don't simply reduce hours in lieu of paying out higher salaries. I'm quite sure many devs would stay at a company if they offered an effective 20-40% raise by offering them a 32 or 24hr workweek. And, to the benefit of the company, my guess is there won't be a big loss in productivity.

Years ago, I was in need of a big a salary adjustment, and I offered to work for 3 days at the same pay, and the owner said yes. We were both very satisfied with this arrangement. He kept me and I was still productive, and I had more time to pursue other interests.

30 is not that old. Think of it this way - you have how many years of work left? 30-35, maybe longer? 2-3yrs to get a masters if not that long, relatively speaking.