throwaway987909

It's a hard decision to cut family off but sometimes it's necessary. I gave my mother an ultimatum a few years back, either hear what I'm saying and deal with your shit or I can't talk to you anymore. She chose the later. Going through the same process now with my dad. Yet to see where that's going. But you must defend yourself first. If others are causing tons of harm and totally unwilling to hear you and work on things, there's no shame in disconnecting. You don't owe anyone anything because they are blood.

I'm in recovery for BPD. I did a shit load of emotional damage to my family because of it.

My BPD stems from childhood abandonment (absent father) and persistent emotional abuse from my likely NPD mother. I learned to doubt things I feel/thought and often reality sometimes. Real love and emotion connection were terrifying to me on a subconscious level. I never could trust anyone, not even myself (the only one to trust was my abuser). I developed so many coping mechanisms to protect myself from my mother that involve projection, distortion of reality and emotional manipulation. My brain learned all these horrible ways of protect myself from my abuser and I applied those behaviors to everyone around me.

It has taken years of unpacking my childhood trauma to get to like 90% remission of symptoms. Before that it was years of denial about my behaviors before I even started to entertain the fact I had BPD.

I'm sorry to hear BPD is effecting both you and your brother. There is hope but he has to be on board and it's a long road.

Same issue here with strength. There's a few places that grow CBD rich hemp (with undetectable levels of thc) in Oregon and they ship around the country. I haven't been able to smoke in like 10 years and this stuff is great! Occasionally I'll mix in a bit on the other stuff to make a blend with very low thc.

We need all drugs legalized. Get centers going where safely dosed opiates are available along with social services for the heavier stuff.

'information ... so you can have peace of mind" Piss off with this manipulative marking crap. Saying this sort of thing hurts people's mental health.

Every mental health professional I have seen has suggested some sort of medication. And when I say suggested I mean pushed. It's like dude, how many times do I have to tell you NO.

Addictions love to trick you into thinking you can't live without them. Also those interactions are like food without nutrients. You think you are getting sustenance but it's void and stuff stops working properly after a while.

Also, In general society has lied to us about what makes humans content. So there's weird thing happening where I'm doing everything the TV/Movies/Inst/FB told me would make me happy and I'm not. It's very confusing and depressing and can make you feel hopeless and empty.

My biggest challenge to my mental heath was an undiagnosed personality disorder (BPD), sex addiction, and coming to terms with childhood trauma I was largely in denial about. All the exercise and diet and medication in the world will not help you if you have buried trauma (which many of us do). I couldn't even accomplish those external things on a regular basis because my internal emotional system was so blocked up.

Be brave and do the healing work. Whether that is through spirituality, religion or mental health professional. Our society is badly in need of healing and it starts with each individual. It's a long (seemingly never-ending) process but it's worth it and you get quality of life improvements all along the way.