throwaway33945

Reading this, I couldn't help but think that I am the failed version of this guy. My life mirrors his, except mine is shittier in every way. I did not go to any fancy universities. My math career went nowhere. My deep learning career isn't going anywhere, probably. My h-index isn't even a quarter of his. My only gf left me after a week. My childhood was riddled with family illness. My mother died too soon. And I even look like an uglier version of him.

And I have been managing depression since 16 (I'm in my early 30s). But, I have always questioned whether I really have depression or whether I am justifiably upset at how shit my life is. I cannot imagine being him and being depressed. But I understand that some people have everything, except happiness and peace of mind. It's so confusing.

Thankfully, I don't mess with drugs.