throwaway28191

I would agree with you, you can't pay someone to replace what your parents didn't do with a session once a week.

Did you ever consider looking for another therapist?

I also thought about that every time before I started therapy. Often multiple problems are leading to symptoms and you are not able to pinpoint the exact problem. You don't have to. And often it is not just one thing, it never was for me. That's exactly why you going to therapy. You can start by telling you're needing help because you at a point where you cannot fix your issues anymore yourself and then just start with one of your issues, it will flow way easier than you think.

Never forget, the therapist probably had hundreds of patients like you with the same problem getting started which means he probably knows a thing or two to help you get started :)

I had three different therapies in my life so far. The first one was a bad experience, the other two helped me a lot. I like both therapists but never felt like we are close or connected in any way this article writes about.

Always I knew I'm dealing with a professional. I saw other patients leave the room before my session started. We needed to look for an appointment because of vacations and stuff, it was always just a person doing his job.

And I'm fine with that. I also think it is necessary to have a person who is not too close to you helping you some times. Family members and friends want you to have as little pain as possible and doing better as fast as possible which is natural but often not the right thing.

"On this view, the good therapist becomes a temporary attachment figure, assuming the functions of a nurturing mother, repairing lost trust, restoring security, and instilling two of the key skills engendered by a normal childhood: the regulation of emotions and a healthy intimacy."

The therapist can't repair lost trust or security, only you can. A good therapist will help you do that.