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It doesn't matter. It really doesn't, but I'm only equipped to deal with my own stuff, I can't explain the "why" to others even if I wanted to.

I never assaulted anyone, nor wanted to, just realized that I wasn't thinking healthily about the opposite sex. Maybe assault is the extreme end of the way I was going? At least that's what I always assumed. I don't know, but I think acting on such thoughts need even less empathy than what I had.

Don't get me wrong, I was being horrible and probably made someone or two uncomfortable.

Good thing about therapy is you don't get judged like the responses I get here.

Sorry for writing from a throwaway account because there's still a lot of stigma to this, while I think it's a pretty average experience.

I had sex therapy to be able to understand where my fantasy ends, and where the real world starts, and how people in the real world aren't there to play the roles my fantasies give them.

It sounds obvious when I say it like this but there are many men like me, who didn't grow up emotionally, and having difficulty accepting the agency of others. Women had to be interested in me so that I could feel validated. I also had never stopped and asked myself "does she really want this or am I trying to manipulate her?".

You also see the same pattern with men who think it's their right to find a female partner and they feel wronged by the society when this doesn't automatically happen.

Try getting some help, fellow men. It takes a lot of weight from your shoulders and you become much less likely to end up getting on such lists.