tbirdz
Joined 14 years ago
Joined 14 years ago
One thing to note is that once you quit you will not be able to really use caffeine effectively at the same level you are currently using it.
I recently had some caffeine, and after being off it for so long, it was actually very unpleasant. I felt like a cpu that got overclocked and was overheating. It didn't really make me any more productive, it just made feel like wow I'm really up right now, too far up and I want to be back to normal, but I can't until the caffeine passes through my system. And just that feeling of being trapped in the "high" and being unable to get out was very disturbing to me personally.
I've been making steps toward being the person who initiates all contact, and so far it seems to work better than my previous strategies of "never initiating contact", and "initiating 50% of contacts and assuming they're not interested if they don't initiate". The only problem is I'm really not a natural at reaching out, so if left to my own devices I wouldn't do it often enough to maintain the relationship. I like OP's idea of externalizing it with a tool, that makes it a lot easier to maintain the kind of consistency needed to grow a relationship.
To all those saying this is forced or inhuman or robotic or whatever... Listen it would be great to have some kind of easy natural friendship where both people would do half the work, think of each other regularly and reach out in an easy non forced manner, but in my life experience that kind of relationship seems to be very hard to find, if not impossible.
In the real world it seems to me like the choices are be lonely and alone, or to do all the work (especially in initiating). In the past I chose to be lonely and alone, maybe holding out for that kind of unicorn, ideal friendship that people in this thread are talking about. I don't think it was a good choice. I switched, I'm doing the other approach and now I have people I can talk to. I do feel kind of resentful for having to put in way more effort initiating than the other person in these relationships, but it beats being alone and lonely, so I'd still say it's a net positive overall.
https://github.com/oyvindln/vhs-decode