spidercat

Indeed. Every drug has its non-responders and super-responders, it seems!

All valid responses/pushback to the anxiety! It's still a lot of unknowns and what-ifs; I was more trying to make the point that for some people, it's overwhelming, and some may conclude it's not worth the risk in finding out. Which brings me to another important point, which is that parenthood isn't for everybody. Some people really shouldn't be parents, and there's nothing wrong with acknowledging that. (Not saying I'm necessarily one of those people; just speaking more generally.)

Unfortunately - and this is kinda related to your comment about it being rare for the kind of person who worries about being a good parent to be a really bad parent - we often see opposite patterns play out... people that would probably make good parents seem less likely to reproduce, and vice versa. I know "Idiocracy" is a bit of a meme these days and is arguably classist, but I can't help but think about it. It's probably a far larger socioeconomic issue than can be feasibly hashed out in an internet forum, and I certainly can't solve it.

Ultimately, I think where I'm at these days, is that we need the village back, and I would love to be a part of it. How? Well, currently, it's that "Fun Auntie" role, as I've no kids of my own, nor do I plan to change that. I've long "wanted to want" bio-children, but so far, I don't. I'm mid-30s now, so there is still time, especially thanks to fertility technology continuing to improve. I'm probably not gonna change my mind, but I'm far too autistic to speak in absolutes, so I cant 100% rule anything out.

Regardless: the village is a beautiful thing. It's an honor to be a part of it in the ways that I am and have been throughout my life. More people should be a part of it. We should all (within reason) be a part of it. It should be celebrated and supported each and every day, to the point where parenthood isn't so much of a burden on the individual family unit, and is instead a shared responsibility of the local community. How do we best go about doing that? Obviously governmental and institutional support is critical, but we also need societal/cultural support, and that will be a lengthier project... we owe it to ourselves to try, though.

I appreciate the conversation and insights in this conversation; thanks for the well-thought out responses in these threads.

>I am afraid men have it easier as we get the parenthood without the pregnancy!

Ain't that the truth! I've long joked that I'd make a great Dad. :)

Not to mention the evidence coming out about advanced paternal age and adverse outcomes on offspring. The pressures are definitely lopsided. If anything, the pressures should be on society and institutions to provide more support for parents, people who want to become parents, and people who just want to be part of "the village". So... support for people, I suppose. A rising tide lifts all boats. Something like that. I dunno. There's a lot of factors at play here; I'm just spitballing.

>Does the birth rate discourse put pressure on you as an individual?

Implicitly, I think, yes. It builds on all of the other social pressures, big and small. I'm sure an entire humanities thesis could be written about how it all adds up over time.

I wrote another comment elsewhere in the thread talking about polarized opinions broadcasted on social media and how that also adds to the stress of it all. Nobody ever wants to talk about the "it was/is... fine, actually. kind of whatever. not great, but not horrible." possibility of pregnancy (and parenthood). It's always either the most wonderful, miraculous thing ever and you're insane for not wanting it, or it's the most horrible, irreversibly damaging thing ever and you're insane for wanting it.

And the thing is... it COULD be any of those outcomes! It could ruin your life. It could also make your life so much more fulfilling. There's simply no way to know for sure what it will be like for you without doing it. It is an enormous gamble, especially when you are the person who has to endure the pregnancy, and it is a gamble that you can't really walk away from. (Of course, you can give a child up for adoption, but there's a lot of social shame involved in that, especially if it is a wanted child that you're quite literally giving up on rearing.)

Pregnancy is also a really scary prospect for a lot of people (myself included), and there doesn't seem to be much work done in trying to make it, well, less shitty of an experience. "It's just how it is," but... is it really? Does it really need to be so bad?

Not to mention that "it takes a village", but in many places the village has been basically stolen from us.

Yeah, speaking as a female-bodied person here - undoubtedly a minority on this site - I absolutely feel the pressure to have children in society, pretty much every day.

Look at the "birth rate" discourse that's been going on. There's tremendous pressure on women to have more babies. There's also a lot of pendulum-swinging in the opposite direction with your edgy "antinatalists", in some sort of weird "overcorrection" or some such, but ultimately those voices are much louder online than in real life.

Fewer people are reproducing, but that doesn't mean the pressures to do so aren't still there. "It's complicated."

Absolutely. A lot of the 4chan types thought he was "based", less due to any of his actual talents, and more due to his outbursts and language choices (e.g. his "glow-in-the-dark" comments). It was a spectacle more than anything. He was just a lolcow to them.

He deserved so much better from society.

A tragic and fascinating man. The internet treated him as something of a spectacle, if not an outright meme. I'm not sure if it helped him in any way. I hope that at least some of the attention he got online brought him genuine happiness.

"anonymous" is the key word. old.reddit still works (though it seems to get progressively jankier), but it's now requiring a login.

Children of Time is one of the best books I've ever read, it's honestly amazing. It might be my all-time favorite. Seconding this recommendation!

Right. A bit concerning to say the least.

This pertains to Japanese ISPs. From the article:

KDDI Corporation, STNet, Inc., JCOM Co., Ltd., Chubu Telecommunications C., Inc., NIFTY Corporation, and BIGLOBE Inc.

KDDI seems to have been the root of the breach, as the other listed ISPs were relying on their email infrastructure/systems.

Seems like the actual scale is unknown, and many of the leaked passwords were, according to KDDI, hashed.