quietbritishjim
Joined 9 years ago
Joined 9 years ago
So for the analogy, it really is like Costco didn't make any attempt to check they were buying actual iPhones.
"Someone else" sounds correct but else isn't trying to act as a conjunction there.
I mean, still perhaps not. But it's not quite as ridiculous as your analogy makes it sound.
It is very clear for many children that allowing them to gorge themselves on TV (or whatever) will not result in them self regulating.
With a second it's practically impossible. We'd need extra childcare (and more floorspace where we live!) to trap him in a different room while the first is watching TV. Taking TV away from the first would be very hard (you're right that it's hard to withdraw once it's routine) but also not something I'd want anyway.
I'm not convinced that it necessarily expands out once it has a foothold. We have a pretty well defined TV time (before dinner) and it's easy to say "yes you can watch that show ... when it's next TV time".
> The point is not that every explanation will be understood, but to at least demonstrate that there is a reason for preventing fun things, even if it's complex and confusing.
If I tell my 3 year old that watching too much TV will affect her concentration, I absolutely don't expect her to make a complex long-term value judgement, or even to know what the word "concentration" means. I also don't expect her to just say "oh fair enough then". As I said, it's just to demonstrate that there is a reason (even if she doesn't understand it) beyond my own satisfaction.
Can you really not see that there are three possibilities here:
1. "I don't care if you're upset, so that's what we're doing".
2. "I don't want you to be upset, and although there's a good reason, if I can't persuade you logically then you can have it your way"
3. "I don't want you to be upset, but there's a good reason, so that's what we're doing"
(Edit: Having written that, the last one is still not quite right. The point is to acknowledge why that have that feeling - not just assert that they're upset. Usually it's pretty simple e.g. they want to carry on playing. But it does take more effort than either of the other approaches.)
> I sometimes see parents ...
In my experience (from casual observation), the very worst behaved children have uncaring parents that shout and scream at them.
In fairness, that is very surprising.