nomedeplume

I clicked the Create a list text on your homepage instinctively. That's how people use the web. It should be hyperlinked.

I like the idea of making lists because it speaks to my passion for process. I want to be able to bookmark lists as well as monetize and own my content. If I can run my own ads on the site, then I'm less scared of creating original content through that venue. Your terms of use sucks and is not favorable.

Thanks.

(1) This is the most vacuous and wrong thing you wrote

> men can think women are people too

Implying that I do not think that women have agency.. What a ridiculous and exacerbated claim.

(2) All you're doing is giving normative advice about what men and women's identities should look like.

Not whatsoever... are you kidding me... it is descriptive analysis; neither normative nor prescriptive

(3) You're claiming that women will always be unhappy with partners whose identities depend on their partner, and you're also saying that it's unacceptable for men to do that.

No, not always. First off, heterosexual women. And I'm not saying unacceptable; quite the opposite. Read the original post I made; think.

And for happiness and identity, I just said, there's a single point of failure. I mean.. we're on a hacking forum, I thought that people would grasp the metaphor.

And as in industry and academia, I think it is better to design a system (the psyche) that functions for happiness. Zen.

(4) There are no logical arguments being made here. It's pure misogyny.

That's totally ridiculous, I'm not a misogynist, I resent being called that, and I absolutely do not categorically hate women. This entire thing implies the possibility of a sexist expression and display.. from you.

I may vaguely fear women as they are mirrors of nature. Read the post I made. But I do not hate them: I have too much respect for their value for that. Anyway, generally in day to day life, I approach things on a situation by situation basis. I don't have any hateful misogynist goal or agenda. Cui prodest?

"We are in the real world and what we say matters". That was the logic that ousted Larry Summers from Harvard. There is a double standard. Men and women have different brains and different emotional needs. Lesbian brains can be more similar to mens'.

And how dare the castrated men like you allow the feminist coalition to suffer any setback driven by logical argument. Good on you.

I have several healthy, happy, close relationships (both male and female). What line, taken in context of the rest of my post, was medieval, misogynistic or bullshit?

edit: ceejayoz; you're absolutely right. I modified my post. I know several powerful lesbians who don't need a partner who has a robust identity. I would also like to apologize for the tacit, heteronormative abuse. I stand by post and its points.

For a heterosexual man, a woman can't be your identity. Most heterosexual women need a partner with their own identity, one that she can merge with (she may temporarily settle for a partner who functions with her as their identity, but then she'll be unhappy, leave, cheat, or fantasize about cheating, or just be using the partner for other reasons). This is tough advice to swallow especially if your woman is your identity or you can't imagine a woman not being your identity, but it's something I've learned[1].

Find a good identity for yourself and create it. Make it something that you can get good at reasonably quickly so you become socially validated within it, because we are happy when our identity is socially validated (i.e., others recognize that we are what we think we are), or you will be facing an unreasonably miserable uphill battle. And "internal validation" is the product of repeated and varied social validation, and it does have a decay curve.

Example of a bad identity to make : "I am really good at soccer!" (if you are bad at soccer, it will take you 10 years before you feel validated and comfortable in your identity)

Example of a good identity to make : "I am a great programmer and a leader in the programming community!" This is easier for you to get better at and it's well within the realm of your control.. for example, you can develop expertise in a niche area, learn basic presentation skills, and start presenting at local meetups.. probably within 6 months of focused effort after work.

Traits for a good identity: reasonably quick learning curve to socially-valued competence. Even better if it is something that has future payouts. You can get a "bad boy" identity if you want to e.g. buy a motorcycle, get a neck tattoo, and physically street fight people who don't submit to your dominance, but it also bears very real cost. Those costs, btw, are why bad boys are attractive - it's a serious energy expenditure.

We are generally happy when our identity is socially validated. People with rarely-validated identities are quite susceptible to manipulation; simply by validating their identity... they will begin to crave you.

Your partner can't be your identity. Even if it's just because that makes it a single point of failure for your happiness.

[1] Email in profile if you want to discuss this issue specifically. I have an over developed sense of empathy here, but it's an extraordinarily private matter and helping others may bring me some closure.

I was totally feeding off his tone, and I also love how he believes his question deserves an answer.

tl;dr: Rich assholes abuse language to protect their power by rah-rahing the weak into spirituality-based causes. Business as usual.

today drug dealers use leet speak over SMS to communicate about transactions without triggering local LE detection

There should be a basic level of business knowledge required to participate in these discussions.

You really think some piddling Automattic bounty is more valuable than a WordPress 0day?!?!?!?!? (Conscious punctuation.)

I'm at a loss for words, scaredy-cat.

i loved pbwiki until it became pbworks. man that was great. now pbworks is like a $1500 minimum commitment...

i understand that they had to pivot, but bleh.. i hate confluence, the most credible alternative.

can't use you guys because

1) no data export

2) no pricing information (I don't want a "free" product, I want to pay.)

3) no privacy policy / terms

4) no social proof of credibility (this is probably more important than any of the above)

Not exactly 100% relevant but I'll take work experience over a degree all day.