Joined 5 years ago
For other failed founders out there... I found very few resources that could help me navigate the aftermath, so I wrote the book I wish I'd had. It's a passion project, so I give it away for free. It's titled "Eating Glass: The Inner Journey Through Failure and Renewal."
Amazon/Audible link: https://www.amazon.com/Eating-Glass-Journey-Through-Failure/...
Free copy: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/arauyfnkwwezbbk0cbvdp/eating-...
Free story: https://s3.us-west-1.amazonaws.com/com.markdjacobsen/Celesti...
Full anthology: https://www.amazon.com/Derelict-Campbell-Jack/dp/1940709407/
The book is titled "Eating Glass: The Inner Journey Through Failure and Renewal", and I mention it whenever these threads come up. It doesn't sell well, so I'm just giving it away for free.[0] I'm passionate about the topic.
Also, FWIW, although you acknowledge the mistakes in execution, this sounds like a brilliant idea.
[0] https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/arauyfnkwwezbbk0cbvdp/eating-...
I wrote the book I wished I’d had available to me, as I believe these experiences are common among entrepreneurs and high achievers. My “Show HN” was immediately lost downstream but I have given out free digital copies on a few occasions in response to folks posting here about similar struggles.
I have links and a lot of free excerpts at https://markdjacobsen.com/eating-glass/
That year (7 years ago now) marks a "before" and "after" point in my life. It changed all my priorities. I'm much more relational now, much more focused on the present, and search for and find joy in simple, quiet, beautiful things. I still work hard but am far less attached to professional success. The faith change led me to abandon an identity that tormented me with cognitive dissonance, was rooted in social expectations, and never worked well for me; constructing a new, more authentic identity has not been easy but it has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.
In many ways, my journey has been a fairly conventional "midlife passage" (my preferred term over "midlife crisis"). I'm grateful for the experience, and thankful it came early enough that I could renew my life while still relatively young.
I wrote a book about my experience, in case it's helpful to anyone else: https://www.amazon.com/Eating-Glass-Journey-Through-Failure-...
I learned this the hard way, presiding over the failure of a nonprofit I founded. Nothing prepared me for the sheer level of stress and exhaustion, the aftermath, and the recovery process.
I wrote a book about this to help others, in case anyone is going through something similar: "Eating Glass: The Inner Journey Through Failure and Renewal." [0]
[0] www.markdjacobsen.com/eating-glass/
I founded and led a small software development team within government that was a mix of government employees and contractors, but we acted like a startup and had a strong culture and team ethos. I was under severe constraints about what I could actually offer my team members in terms of advancement, but I tried to deliberately help them grow. I cared about them for their own sake, but also believed they would do their best work for my team if they felt valued, taken care of, and fulfilled in their desire for growth.
I did a one-on-one with team member upon hiring, and then every 6 months or so. We used these meetings for mutual feedback but I also deliberately asked about their goals and we strategized together about how to help them advance towards those goals. I was honest about the limits of what I could do. Even though I couldn't directly promote people, we often found ways to help team members learn new skill sets in the course of their work, take on more leadership, or shift into different lateral roles that would stretch their knowledge and abilities. In some cases I worked with our contractor company to pay for training in new skills adjacent to, but not directly related to, their core duties.
I also acknowledged in our first one-on-one that this job was just one of many they would hold. I hoped they would stay with us a long time, but whenever they left, we would wish them well and help them transition into their next thing. I also told them one of my personal goals for each new hire: that they would be better for the time they spent on our team.
These individuals stayed fiercely loyal to the team. Most stayed for quite a while. Many did leave for higher-paying jobs after a couple years, but it was always a difficult decision for them because they loved the team and the mission so much. When they did decide to leave, we always wrote recommendations and did whatever else we could to help them find their next opportunity.
You will find plenty of practical advice (such as about career changes), which may be helpful. Professional mental health care can also be important. But I'd also encourage you to take the "inner journey" aspect of this seriously. When we enter these listless seasons, it's often because our soul is alerting us to something in our life that isn't working for us... and thus offering us an opportunity to learn and grow. The darkness has a lot to teach if you do the inner work to slow down and listen to what it has to say. During these years I gained a lot of empathy and wisdom about life.
Passing through these seasons is a universal part of the human experience, and you'll find some wonderful guides. Some of my favorite resources include this article by David Brooks [0], "Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life" by James Hollis, "Let Your Life Speak" by Parker Palmer, "Falling Upward" by Richard Rohr, "Crossing the Unknown Sea" by David Whyte, and "Reboot" by Jerry Colonna.
I also wrote a book about my own experience, titled "Eating Glass: The Inner Journey Through Failure and Renewal", designed to help others navigate these seasons. I have numerous free chapters here [1]. My main goal for the book is just to help others going through these seasons, so if you email me, I'll send you a free digital copy. I sincerely wish you luck finding your way through this season.
[0] https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/06/opinion/sunday/moral-revo... [1] https://markdjacobsen.com/eating-glass/
If anyone is interested, I have some videos on research tools that include a Zotero->Zotfile/MDNotes->Obsidian workflow: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLHmevVAAXtu3_beDLtsTm....
The vulnerability, honesty, and goodwill in threads like this always warms my heart and bolsters my faith in humanity. I'll offer my own contribution. I wrote a deeply personal book called "Eating Glass" about navigating these seasons when everything seems to fall apart. I mention it from time to time on HN when I think it could be helpful, but today I'll just post the entire book for free: https://s3.us-west-1.amazonaws.com/com.markdjacobsen/Eating+.... My passion is just to help others walking similar journeys. Consider it a resource if it's helpful.
I wish you well on your own journey, and everyone else going through similar experiences.
I wrote a book titled "Eating Glass" specifically about the emotional journey through a failure like this [0] and put numerous chapters online for free [1]. My primary goal with the book is to help others, so I'd be happy to send you a free digital copy if that's of interest.
Good luck to you... you now possess valuable knowledge and wisdom to help you in your next venture and in life.
[0] https://www.amazon.com/Eating-Glass-Journey-Through-Failure-... [1] https://markdjacobsen.com/eating-glass/
