corvallis

> Women currently have much more choice which gives them an unfair advantage.

Men are free to choose to abstain from PIV intercourse, get vasectomies, or wear condoms, depending on their level of risk acceptance. They can also choose to have sex only when they are on the same page as their partner about what to do in the case of unplanned pregnancy. This requires a pre-coital conversation, and the acceptance that one party may change their mind.

> at the very least the man should have the equal option of "financial abortion"

No. Child support or co-parenting is not a punishment for the father, it is support for a child that exists. Also, men do not have to carry a pregnancy and go through childbirth and any resulting complications, and breastfeeding (if chosen). Let's accept that biology makes this situation unequal and not try to equalize it.

> It is best for society when children grow up with parents who both wanted them.

Possibly/probably. But growing up with two parents who both wanted a child is not the case for many existing people. Let's focus on managing the reality and making sure children grow up with the support of both parents when possible, and not focus on trying to do mental gymnastics to force the idea that any potential consequences of sex should not fall on men.

> and signing off very early to babysit his young children.

Are you serious with this? Parenting is not "babysitting". Would you call it babysitting if he wasn't a male parent? It's 2019. Both men and women work and share parenting responsibilities.

It sounds like you don't have these outside responsibilities or have delegated them out. However your general tone makes me skeptical about your maturity and objectivity. Your colleague may be in a wrong-fit job, or you may be irrationally funneling all your energy into comparing yourself to him and resenting him. Or somewhere in between. Or maybe there is another reason the founder has not addressed the issue (yet?) that may be none of your business (like having to document poor performance, or giving the guy a chance to find another job).

As others have said, it's just a job. Do your part and don't worry about him. And maybe find some hobbies to give you a reason to leave work and focus on other things. Or if you're that miserable, you are also free to find another job. No need to create drama like "me or him" ultimatums, just find one and give notice like an adult.

I worked in a prison facility for three years, where all the inmates knew my first and last name, which is unique (I'm probably the only person with my first/last name in the world). If you google me, you can find my entire immediate family, including home address, home worth, names, occupation, ages. Many of the inmates were able to observe my car make/model/license plate, my arrival and departure time to work, etc. Though I had good rapport with the inmates and believe I did right by them, I still have a nagging fear that a released inmate could track down a family member or show up at our home. These are not dumb people. In fact they are quite creative with plenty of street smarts.

I am not a unique/unusual/margin case.

Saying "there are some people who have stalkers and such" discounts large swaths of (mostly) women who have been victimized, far more than a non-victim would ever realize.

This is a very real concern for more than an insignificant number of people. We are just people who you would not necessarily realize exist.

I had the opportunity to choose between a used 6 and a new 8 or X after my 5s tragically drowned a couple months ago. After playing with the new ones, I couldn’t justify the price though I can easily afford it. Didn’t see much difference between the 6 and the new models in terms of function. Maybe the camera is a bit better but I don’t have kids nor do I take selfies/use social media so the 6 it is. I don’t feel like I’m missing out.

You could sell it on Craigslist and donate the proceeds to the Electronic Frontier Foundation. Not sure how to prevent it from being used for its intended purpose unless you destroy it.

>>>I don't really want to live in a world where anyone on the internet can destroy my income via anonymous complaint. That seems really ripe for abuse.<<<

You already live in this world, because Yelp exists.

Additionally, no one is saying the complaints have to be anonymous, just that one should not need to be a registered user of Airbnb. It’s an important distinction.

I buy from the product manufacturer’s or brand’s storefront whenever I have the choice because I no longer trust Amazon‘s supply chain.

This is not a solution. I specialize in cancer treatment and I have spend countless hours trying to track down people who cannot receive calls from our medical center. These people have missed multiple opportunities for more timely appointments, in many cases putting their health at risk. Many of them don't receive the voicemails we leave either. There are many situations where a non-contact would need to reach you and some of those situations could be urgent, so blocking all of them is not a solution. For example my friend's parents were in a car crash and she got a call from the hospital they were at, which obviously wasn't in her contacts. We should be working with whoever has the oversight for this to eliminate robocalls. Not sure if that would be the government or phone companies, or device manufacturers.

What is your definition of success?

This is one of the most obnoxious posts I have ever read on HN. I'm actually feeling a buildup of rage reading it.

First, there is never a justification for using the word 'slaves' in anything but the literal context. Please be more cognizant of this country's history.

Of course going back to your country is an option. You are choosing not to take it because you don't want to disrupt your daughter's life, either by leaving her here or taking her there.

H1B was never meant to be an immigration visa or one that entitles you to permanent residency. It is a "temporary worker" visa. Establishing family and a life in the United States while on this visa, you take the risk that you may have to disrupt this life at some point.

I think there are very few people, if any, who will be sympathetic to your post seeing as how your income and current place of residence places you among the wealthiest and most privileged people in the country and the world. If you have been working for 15 years at even close to your current income, you may be in a position to retire and live anywhere you want, with a very high standard of living. At least, you can go work anywhere else and maintain a high standard of living.

I have so much more I could say but... I can't even right now.*

*I finally understand what this phrase means. I have never used it before but I feel it suddenly and deeply after reading this post.

It was. Then at some point it became about building a business. Remember the Lily drone?

I think it's the wording that's being commented on. Maybe it's just semantics. I think the word 'disappointed' implies that there was an honest effort that didn't end up panning out (say, if the company ran out of money, or misunderstood product/market fit and fizzled, or got out-competed). I am not sure what a more appropriate phrasing would be for a fantastical idea that never existed in any form and never could have.

1) I don't like feeling manipulated, regardless of if I am able to get over it. It's still a negative experience.

2) I belong to an ethnic minority that stereotypically does not tip well (though I don't see this in practice with others of my ethnic group). I don't want any judgment of me or my ethnic group based on if the person handing me my donut figures out, either by looking or by watching my hand motions, whether I tipped.

3) I don't doubt your description of the interface. I experience a similar interface. If I have to be prompted for a tip, then have to decline, then feel manipulated and have to expend mental energy to "get over it" (as you say), have to think about how I'm representing my ethnic group, and contemplate my role in the socioeconomic inequality present between myself and the people in the service industry (as mentioned elsewhere in these comments), well then I'm going to reduce that to a 2 step process where I hand over cash and receive my purchase.

These types of systems have pushed me toward carrying cash again. After feeling manipulated and/or guilty by the tip-requesting interface in situations where I would not normally tip or might throw spare change in a jar (vs the several dollars that's being solicited), I now pay in cash. It gives me the control over the transaction that I had previous to the interfaces' existence and I don't leave the situation with negative feelings.