adorable

And so how do you sell iOS apps or in-app content then?

GSuite, Mailchimp, Sendgrid, Github, Sightengine, Travis, Twilio

Does anybody know what the existing open-source / free alternatives are? (that you could run on your own servers)?

Some of those optimizations become irrelevant (or downright bad) with http2. Inlining CSS ans JS is no longer best practice when you can do a server push of those and avoid sending the extra bytes once the files have been cached by the browser.

Some optimizations can backfire. Adding async to the external JS is a great tip.. unless you have dependencies between your different scripts (i.e. you need one to be loaded before the other one gets executed)

What would those article-writing robots use as their primary source of information?

If they write local news, will they use social media as their datasource? Other sources?

You are free to buy as much soda as you want.

iPhone 6 user here. Same issue for me, battery seems to drain much faster now and levels can suddenly drop from 10-20 to 0.

ÉDIT: as I was typing the comment, the level actually dropped from 22 to 1!! About to go dark :)

Any EBS storage price reductions? Those are pretty high at this stage.