Jem

Do you want to learn all of those because you have a genuine interest in doing so, or do you want to learn all of those things because you feel you "should"?

I browse HN and read comments and articles I do not even begin to understand, and it's hard not to feel rapidly inferior. But you don't have to be a genius to make a difference, and you don't have to be a genius to be happy.

I make my living off the back of PHP. Sure it's got a bad rep, but it's hard to knock something that keeps a roof over my kid's heads and their bellies full.

If you want to learn because of genuine interest - do one thing at a time. Let your curiosity guide you. And good luck!

This is just a thin site containing lists of affiliate links. It'd be much more useful if you had actually compared the tools you're linking to and/or ranked or rated them on the functionality they offer.

"wogrammer"? Really? If there's one thing I don't need (as a woman in tech) it's segregation further from your regular joe programmer.

Show me what other women are achieving - FANTASTIC - but quit with the bloody ridiculous nicknames. (Don't even get me started on "mumpreneurs"!)

IMO it's not about avoiding disagreement - I think that modelling appropriate 'conflict' resolution is important for kids - but rather making sure that kids DON'T learn that the easy way to get a 'yes' is to ask the other parent.

Do your friends lack a backbone? I'm not sure why one has to equal the other.

Obviously I can't say for sure that had my parents done X, I would have done Y, but their lack of any attempt to connect with my siblings and I on any meaningful level has had a massive impact. I don't hold a grudge against either of them but there are certainly things I know now should have raised major red flags and they completely missed them. Still, that goes deeper than whether or not I could consider them a "friend"!

Anecdotally, if I'd thought of my parents as friends, I perhaps would have been more inclined to tell them that I was being abused as a child.

I (personally) would rather blur the lines between friendship and authority and have my children trust me completely, than risk alienating them when they need me the most.

Not sure that necessitates you being less playful - just back your wife up so that you come across as a team, rather than two individuals who can be played off as each other?

It's not a bad thing that your child has found a friend in you.

I'm not really sure what your point is?

My poor misunderstood British sense of humour :)

Yes, you're right. All male progammers are in it for the tinkering and the women are just in it for the money.

My mortgage is £477 p/m on a small 2 bedroom semi-detached house. To rent I'd be looking at ~£600p/m for a small 2 bedroom flat (apartment). I'd still have to pay the same utilities etc so wouldn't be better off by any stretch of the imagination.

Hard to say. As a stay at home mum I felt unfulfilled and lonely. In the early years of returning to work full time I felt guilty for leaving my child in daycare. Working at home (with a mix of juggling kids and some daycare) I felt isolated and over-worked.

I'm actually in the process of working my notice at my current job so that I can return to working from home, but as it stands I have no intention of reducing my son's hours in childcare.

I'd like to think that I can find a balance between working (for mental satisfaction as well as financial reasons) and time with my youngest outside of childcare, but this depends on my success in the coming months. If nothing else my son starts school in September 2016 so at least I won't have a ~£645 childcare bill each month :)

Private renting in my area (as with a lot of places in the UK) would be more costly than my current mortgage.

I didn't think you were criticising parents who use childcare, least of all me, but I do feel it's necessary for people to understand that the "I'm too good for daycare" argument comes from a position of massive privilege.

I would be homeless, first and foremost, because I wouldn't be able to pay my mortgage and the bank would seize my assets.

Eventually I would be eligible for state benefits and placed on a waiting list for a council owned property, but waiting lists are long. I might be able to get shelter in a women's refuge in the mean time, but I'm not sure that's an ideal place to raise my children just so that I can claim the moral high ground on childcare use.

For me, not using childcare == not working, which means I'd probably lose my home. I'm not sure that risk is worth it.