Ehh_01

Lmao exactly I had a job interview yesterday and I think the interviewer did took me as arrogant and did everything he could to shoot me down and even told me that I don't have "the thing" in me, which kinda drained me for the day but is funny to be in such a occurence where the last 3 years I got promoted each year and in my current company I got promoted after only 6 months from employment start. But yea it is difficult to exactly reply on what I do, while I basically do the job of 3-4 departments until things are sorted and fixed and currently in the day to day basis, so yea that hits home a lot.

Judge Dredd vibes, made me chuckle. Kinda like when you are in the flow :

I am the software

Thanks for the book. I managed to "read" it whole in about an hour. And basically, yes I do have ADHD as you described half of my life even the "smart girls" example did hit me as I did had similar smart girls back in the day in my classes. Also I did already try most of that stuff in the book, but I don't want to try let's say shrooms and I already quit somking tobbacco 3 years ago after 10+ years smoking. So I guess right now all I need is to be diagnosed and get some meds which I already had a schedule for the next week done like two days ago and your book only solidifies me in that move. Only thing I'm scared of is that the doc wont take me serious and will try to avoid prescribin the meds. Or will try to extend the whole process for another 2-3 months before prescribing anything as its not that easy to get ADHD meds from where I'm from due to their bad "rep".

But yea thanks for your book I am 100% sure I have ADHD and I was sure of it for at least the last few years but it is really difficult to find a good professional to get the help you really need.

Yo man. It's not a secret that you feel loneliness at the top. But if that's bothering you and on top of that you are saying most if not all areas of your life are good then I have some news for you. So in general humans as a species is destined to suffering. Makin the long philosophy short, humans need to suffer to be able to enjoy happiness. From what you are sayin you live a decent life but in the back of your head there's something missing or lacking. And that's the suffering calling you to remind you that "you cant be high all the time". To help you with that personally as I've done it myself , would recommend you to go to an animal shelter as a volunteer and help one day a week. Try a homeless shelter and do the same. Try some empathy with total strangers you won't ever meet, quick example: I was waiting in the line for a cashier and had some items and saw the guy behind me had like tw or 3, probably stuff for his breakfast for work. So I said, go ahead Infront of me you'll go quicker and the guy was like if he hit the lottery that day, said thank you so many times like if I gave him a gold ounce coin or such. Makes you wonder what he's been throu. Try some martial arts but maybe not to get serious hurt but to remind yourself that you are a simple mortal being. I recently try humility with strangers, kinda like one year ago or more I was angry at myself and everyone else, now I do a step back and do stuff more calmly,say more times a day, thank you, sorry, please. Etc. Hope I don't wrote too much and you get the point I'm trying to say. Be gratefull for what you have and try experience some suffering from various sources to remind yourself that you are just a collection of a few atoms and a few lucky situations in the vast galaxy. Did you see the butterfly effect movie? Cheers take care.