ChristopherM

I quit a job back in 2011, the plan was to create an iPhone game. Six months later the job I quit hired me back as a consultant to rebuild the software team my previous manager drove away. After 9 months I made so much money I quit that and moved to Incline Village (Lake Tahoe) for 3 years, took up skiing in the winter, hiking in the summer, and working on the game. Then, again I was contacted to do some consulting, this time 100% remote. Off and On over the years, someone from my past will contact me with consulting work. I might work 6-12 months, or 3 years and then not work for awhile. Longest stretch is 9 months before I'm contacted again.

I didn't plan this, I never tell anyone I'm looking for work, I don't update linked-in with a status. But it's been so long now, I don't think I could ever work a "real" job ever again. I've now been on my own; consulting longer than my software engineering career out of university.

When I quit that job in 2011, I only had $16k in my checking account. I figured if I had to I'd cash out the 401k from a previous job. I don't have family, put myself through university working a 3rd shift factory job, and still graduated with $40k in debt, in 1999. So to anyone thinking, must be easy when you have a safety net, couldn't be further from the truth. The manager at that last job was so incompetent she was throwing engineers under the bus left and right for her mistakes, I left before I was next.

Quitting that job in 2011 was the best decision I ever made. I know most people can't stand the stress of not having a steady paycheck. I couldn't care less, being free of being an employee was worth it to me. Salaried jobs are no more guaranteed anyway, it's a false sense of security. Since then, I bought and paid off a house in 4 years, paid for SUV. Bought tons of equipment, office furniture, books, computers etc. Over 5 years of living expenses saved now. I'm thinking of pivoting to creating a website, making youtube videos and maybe writing some books. The youtube channel will focus on science experiments; a different approach to learning. Trying to wind down a client I've been working with for 2 years now so I can move on. The last thing I'd do is cover software though, always hated it, just a means to an end, and I'm so good at it I make more in 1 day than most people make in 2 weeks. But money isn't everything, once you have "enough", and you keep your expenses low, you can be truly free...

' Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.' -- Robert Frost

I haven't made a post in years, I'll update my bio. I didn't realize it still pointed to Incline Village.

Most of my clients tend to be Medical Device startups, but I did have a really long relationship with a major food manufacturer. While it makes sense for them to hire full time software engineers for some of the work, they always have a hard time finding device driver experts. Also they tend to attract less experienced engineers, so having me on board helps to manage and mentor their team. And I'm generally the one laying out the architecture and breaking the project into smaller parts so their engineers can implement it.

If you want to break into consulting, you have to figure out which field you want to be in. I'd avoid anything that has a boot-camp available for it, that's a race to the bottom. Then you need to get at least 10 years experience working in the field, preferably at a variety of companies, and make friends and business contacts at each place.

I started "programming" in 1982 on a VIC-20, I taught myself C++ in 1991 and programmed as a hobby until I switched majors in University. Then I moved from Job to Job once I stopped learning/progressing. Along the way I made many contacts at a diverse group of companies.

I started at a medical device company reverse engineering MRI/CAT scan data for a 3D device used in brain surgery. Then I worked for a company that specialized in Bug Tracking and Project Management. Then a company that engineered optical archival storage discs with a 100 year life span. Then I managed a team developing a video keno/poker gaming machine that was available to the Nevada/Montana market. Then I managed a team in reverse engineering cell phones for forensic analysis. Then a medical company that made a continuous glucose monitoring system for critical care environments. After 1 year working on their firmware, I was brought back as a consultant to rescue the Software department as a Director of Software Engineering over product and manufacturing.

Through all these jobs I was well liked and since then have been contacted by people I used to work with for consulting work. And now I'm getting consulting work from other consulting job referrals.

I currently charge $180 an hour plus expenses, but come January 1st will be raising it to $200 an hour because of the inflation and the fact it's not stopping. In terms of stating new increased prices; through the years I've informed clients to have them tell me it's too much. Then 30 days, 9 months come back and just sign a new contract at the new rate. You have to be willing to walk away, you have to have money in the bank so you don't "need" their work, but would be happy to if they pay your going rate. Just be professional, explain that you could be making more doing work for another client and it's "just business".

I specialize in device drivers Windows and Linux, firmware, embedded RTOS and even desktop applications, mostly Windows but also can do some Qt on linux. My favorite language is C++ but frequently use C as firmware and linux device drivers are written in C. I also have quite a bit of experience managing, hiring, extracting and documenting software reguirments, architecting and implementing as necessary.

As for getting new clients, I tend to pick up a client for 3-6 months of work and still do work for them 6+ years later. In the beginning they get most of my time, later I end up sitting in on weekly meetings, reviewing their code/design, mentoring their junior level software engineers, and helping them to hire more as needed. I end up standing in as their CTO/director/senior manager as they usually don't have the funds to hire a full time one.

I charge by the hour and will never change. It forces the customer to focus on getting the requirements right instead of hand waving it like "oh yeah, that's just what I want" and then come back later "I didn't want that, what I meant was" repeat ad infinitum. You see they are paying for my time, not results. If they choose to waste it... doesn't matter to me, it's all billable just the same. I will do my best to steer them in the right direction to save time and money, but you'd be amazed how often they need to learn the lesson the hard way.

I also don't compete, I'm not on any "freelancing" websites, I don't apply or bid for work. My clients always come to me, I get an email, a phone call asking if I'm available. So this race to the bottom nonsense is utter crap. I'm a consultant NOT a freelancer.

I've been doing this since 2011, that's the last time I had an employer. This year I'm on track to bill out between $360k and $400k. If that's "amateur" so bet it. Considering I have no debt, my house is paid for, my luxury SUV I paid cash for, my actual monthly bills are around $2,500 a month. I really couldn't care less what someone who writes an article like this thinks of me. The writer is advocating for the client, they aren't giving me advice that helps me. I also have no interest in scaling, on bringing on employees. I'm making bank, I left CA in 2013, currently live in Wyoming with a 40 minute drive to Park City UT and a 60 minute drive to Salt Lake City.

To anyone reading this article and thinking they are offering you helpful advice, consider their motive. What are they trying to sell you? Are they trying to change the current consulting landscape to benefit themselves as a business owner?

What I'm about to say goes completely against what society and the majority of those engaging in virtue signaling claim is the key to happiness.

I am quite happy at the moment, and it started back in 2004 when I wrote off my family and commanded them to never contact me again. It turns out removing negativity in your life, whatever the source, no matter how well intentioned you may be in helping someone, goes a long way to being blissfully happy. It is said that "you" are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. So consider if your relationships are a positive of negative influence on your life. Remove the negative influences, no one is immune from being removed despite what society tries to feed you about how important "family" is.

In 2008 I went to the CTO of the company I was working for at the time, told him that I was planning to quit even though I had just started 3 months ago and proceeded to explain how my manager could be doing their job better. I listed out how I would run things. A week later I had my manager's job and a $13k raise, several months after that another $20k raise. Needless to say, the student loan debt that plagued me since graduating in 1999 was paid off in 5 months. As were the rest of my debt. Never underestimate how not having any debt can lead to real happiness.

In 2011 I quit the last "real" job I've had at 36. I was not and am still not independently wealthy. I have no family to rescue me if I go broke. At the time I was planning to make an iPhone game, 6 months in coming up to speed on Objective-C, drawing graphics the job I quit needed help desperately I threw out a price of $7500 a week. To my surprise they went for it. So I put the game on hold and worked for 9 months. Accumulating $240k for the year. The money really did make me happy, because of how quickly it piled up. No scrimping and saving and gradually building wealth. Thinking of doing that makes me want to honestly eat a bullet. The old... yeah, save, work 40 years, 2 weeks vacation a year, plus having holidays when the rest of the country does too... die two years into retirement thing. No thanks... Anyways 9 months in and they try to hire me full time as the director of software engineering. 5 years earlier that would have been a dream job. But I really didn't want a "job" anymore. So I quit, took a 10 day vacation to Cozumel with my girlfriend and when I got back spent 2 years working on my game.

I was just about to release the game and then apple announced new ipad and iphone resolutions. So much rework, especially artwork. Then an old co-worker needed help, I told him I would if I could work from home. I was living on Lake Tahoe at the time and no way was I going back to the Bay. Especially since I was on the Nevada side and there was no way I was paying California a dime in income tax (Luckily it was a New York CO so they don't try to tax you out of state until you've made $1 million). The last year I was there I paid $18,600 to California for NOTHING. I got no benefit for that tax I paid to the state. Despite anyone who would argue with me to the contrary. As a note I currently live in Wyoming, and there is nothing more I want from the state, No income tax is glorious.

Anyway long story short, consulting gigs, where I work 100% from home drop in my lap every year or two. I make so much money on those that it pays for 2-3 years of not working.

The key to happiness is not working (for a client or a job, I like to work on projects of my own that have nothing to do with software). While simultaneously having money to do or buy whatever I want (within reason).

I never want to commute to a job ever again. After breaking up with my girlfriend of 5 years I have no interest in getting into another relationship. It's like "I've been there done that" and just don't have an interest anymore. When I'm working on my own projects I get so wrapped up in them I lose track of the time, I don't know what day of the week it is. I might talk to the neighbors or chat with an old friend once a week. I may not talk to or see another human being for a week and it doesn't bother me at all. It might be 10 days before I drive somewhere, it's amazing how long a car lasts when you barely use it.

As a side note, I have no interest in charity it does nothing for me, it's like the part that's supposed to fill me with joy is missing with regards to that. I don't want to contribute to society or do anything that makes the world a better place. And yet my happiness, contentedness, blissfullness has not lessened since quiting my last job in 2011.

So contrary to the frequently parroted "secret" to happiness that involves sacrifice, family, children, being part of a "team". I'm here to let you know, some of us have found happiness doing the opposite...

Hi orbitur,

I too used to suffer from allergies, psoriasis, arthritic joint pain. But I cured mine without any drugs. Doctors were of absolutely no help whatsoever. They have a better living through chemistry approach to "healthcare". I figured out the root cause through many years of suffering and experimenting and trying everything I could think of once I realized that doctors are completely useless for anything but acute medical issues.

Let me give you a short history of my health history so you can understand how I arrived at the solution. At 6 months old, I had severe hay-fever. This continued until I figured out the root cause. At 10 years old I developed psoriasis, first around my anus, then my elbows, knees, later on my ankles (anywhere where there was rubbing, or if I leaned on my elbows, or kneeled on my knees). It would form hard white scabby formations that itched like crazy and would bleed. Later in my 20's, I had patches under my hair, under my toenails (the doctor's thought it was a fungal infection), and on my tongue.

Around 30, I started to develop severe constipation. Had internal intestinal bleeding, and the constipation got so bad I started having panic attacks. My body was in a constant state of heightened adrenaline and I had adrenal fatigue. I was constantly tired, needing constant naps, but I couldn't sleep more than a couple hours, so at night I had insomnia. I had a constant headache, and brain fog. Sometimes I couldn't even remember by friends names.

Throughout my doctor visits, I was prescribed allergy meds. Cortisol for the psoriasis (which I'm allergic to). Coal tar cream did help for the psoriasis, but it just got rid of the itchy scaliness and then it didn't bleed. Later when I had panic attacks, I was put on paxil and ativan. But I couldn't function, I couldn't do my job (software engineering/management). With the severe constipation, not going for 7 days or more. I was told to take laxatives, Metamucil, eat more fiber (even though I had upped it and it seemed to make my problems worse). The last gastroenterologist after doing, upper GI, sonograms, blood tests, etc told me I needed to see a psychologist. Even though I knew my problem was my body was causing stress, not that stress was causing my body issues.

Sometimes it would get better for a while, then it would flare up all over again. My life, my entire life had been miserable. I never smiled, I was angry all the time. But it was my normal, and I never knew that most people didn't feel this way. I quit my last salaried job in 2011. And it was then, that I finally figured it out. I quit to work on an iphone game. And now, without all the structured living (going to a job M-F, living a set schedule, wake up at a certain time, eat at certain times, go to bed at certain times) I began to experiment. I slept when I was tired and could, I worked when I was alert. But I also began to cook a lot. I started making all sorts of breads, muffins, cookies, experimenting to make the perfect pizza crusts. And that's when I noticed that if I ate a lot of wheat products my symptoms would flare up. Sometimes to the point that I would just lay in bed for a week, getting up to eat and use the bathroom, but in constant pain. And to top this off, around 10 I had some rye bread it made me so sick. In my 20's, I had to stop drinking beer, because it made me so sick. Even made my forever stuffed up nose worse and causes a sinus headache. A headache which was the source of the brain fog, which I would realize later.

It was around this time I kept seeing the gluten free diet craze. Which I paid no attention to, because my symptoms were the exact opposite. Celiacs have constant diarrhea, I had constant constipation. But at this point, I was desperate, doctor's were utterly useless. And I decided, what would it hurt to try to go on a gluten free diet? So I went on a strict diet of meat, lots of fat and vegetables, I also eliminated all dairy. No packaged processed foods, gluten is hidden everywhere. After about 6 weeks, I felt amazing to the point of euphoria. My digestion starting working again. And oddly my psoriasis started to clear up, I had not expected that at all. After 6 months all of the psoriasis was gone, completely gone.

This worked for a year or two, but I din't feel as good as I did sometimes. And I noticed all grains had a similar but weaker effect on my constipation. So I eliminated all grains, and my allergies vanished. Over the years if I eat a small bag of frito's my allergies will come back within 24 hours, but after 3-4 weeks they will disappear again. And I can go out and enjoy the smell of freshly cut grass, flowers. Ragweed can be in hyper pollinating mode and I might have to blow my nose a couple times instead of my eyes turning red and burning and having a constant stream of snot running out of my nose.

But my hip hurt, my knees, elbows, and fingers ached from arthritis. And having seen the miraculous effect that food had on my other conditions I searched for a solution. I began to notice that if I had a big plate of potatoes, paprika chicken, hot peppers it seemed to flare up. So I eliminated all nightshades. And after about a month my arthritis went away. I no longer was constantly popping my knuckles, and popping my vertebrae when I woke up in the morning. In fact I can no longer pop them, as they don't get stiff.

I'm going to be 42 this year and I have never felt this good in my entire life. I sleep like a baby, my mental sharpness and ability to quickly and efficiently hold big problems in my head and come to solutions is beyond amazing. Since figuring out the gluten problem, I started my own company. I have a product under development, but I'm so swamped with consulting work that I have not had much time to work on it. I work 100% from home. I am filled with profound joy and happiness. I no longer feel anger, stress. I have no problem striking up conversations with strangers. I'm a completely different person.

Throughout the years since figuring out my problem, I have accidently eaten gluten, grains, nightshades, dairy. And the sypmtoms will come rushing back. But if I avoid the foods (poison), after 2-3 weeks I'm good again. I no longer eat out, I no longer even eat what other people have made special for me, as that is a source of accidental exposure. I make all my food 100% from base ingredients. Unprocessed meat, fresh vegetables, fresh fruits. Lots of Extra Virgin olive oil and animal fats. In fact about 65% of my daily calories are from fat. About 10% of carbs from fruits and vegetables, no processed sugar. I was never fat, but after eating like this I lost so much weight 155-> 131. That I upped my food intake, as I was too skinny. I have to work hard and sometimes force myself to eat an extra meal to maintain the 140 that eventually got back up to. I sit at a desk all day, don't exercise but have 6 pack abs. Every time my ribs start showing too much I have to eat an extra meal for a couple days. So I also discovered why most people are fat.

I have since run across a famous quote, which would have meant nothing to me before, but is a fact of life for me now.

Hippocrates — 'Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.'

If you want advice on how to try this experiment on yourself, send me an email (cmerinsky at gmail.com). After all, what do you have to lose?

I thought my email was visible in my about page... it's [email protected]

No, the consulting is not a 'day job'. Remember, I work 100% from home, in fact my clients are in other states. Currently the one client I cut it back to is in New York. I may not talk to the clients for weeks at a time. Generally we only communicate via email, and very rarely no one is waiting for an immediate response. I might work from midnight to 7 am and then not work for 2 days (and only because that's when I felt like working). Last year was an anomaly, I decided that renting a condo in Tahoe was a waste of money, so I needed money for a down payment and costs associated with buying a house. When I was working full time on my game, I didn't make any money and therefore it really killed my eligibility for a home loan. So last year I ramped up the consulting to not only make a 30% down payment, but to build up $150k (after tax in the bank) for when I go back into full development mode again. Since I have a good, flexible client right now, if things keep going I'll pay off the house end of this year, so if it drags out a little longer it seems like a good trade off. With a paid off house I can live on $1500 a month in Wyoming. With money in the bank, and what I learned last attempt, I'll be able to launch the product and never have to worry about money.

I understand the point though, most consultants are really contractors that are embarrassed to admit it. They have to show up at the client site every day and put in face time. That's not what I do.

I started a company, by myself, November 2012. I'm still in business but haven't released the original intended product.

1) What was my motivation? I was tired of working for someone else, I'd had it with commuting, working with people that kept bringing diseases from their kids in daycare and hence getting colds and flus mutliple times per year, living in a state with absurd taxes and cost of living. Working hard to afford a "condo" that might be paid off once I hit 65 was beyond stupid. Oh and I wouldn't work in an "open office space" setup if you paid me $1 million a year. I don't do headphones, ever.

2) Is this idea worth my time? The idea was an iPhone game, I did complete it, but never released it. They released new phones, new ipads with new resolutions, so I was in the process of adding that capability when a consulting opportunity arose (work 100% from home). I could get into why I abandoned releasing iPhone and Android apps, but have decided to redo it in HTML5 and free myself from the rules the stores impose and cut they take. But ultimately I had decided even if my product only generated $30k a year that was good enough. To own and control my time and product was worth that drastic cut if it came down to it.

3) What have you done to validate this idea? I did research into the potential market size, I used to play a similar game on yahoo games before it was shut down and they would have 10's of thousands of players every day. I looked at similar games on iTunes that were pathetic weekend hacks that left much to be desired and they had downloads, so the market existed. And I really liked the game, still do, I play my game on an ipod touch that I hacked to an older date so the certificate never expires. My UI, and the options that I added also made it far more enjoyable to play. I had big plans for multiplayer.

4) Are there real customers for this? Yep, see above. Maybe it won't make me a millionaire, but I could live off of it.

5) Do you have the endurance for the marathon version of your company? Absolutely, I worked non stop for 2 years when I was about to release. I did not make any money during that time, in fact if I had a "real" job I would have given up. A regular job sucks away all mental energy and leaves one like an empty shell at the end of the day (at least that is my experience).

6) CMO (Chief Marital Officer)? Don't have one, did have a girlfriend back then but we lived in different cities so going for a visit was a nice vacation from the work.

7) Is quitting the right next step? As far as I'm concerned you are either all in or it's a hobby that is going nowhere. If I kept working I'd never even had developed a prototype non the less a full working product, with multiplayer server on the back end. So if you really believe in your product, quit the day job. You can't do both, period.

Where is my company now?

Well, I've gotten side-tracked with consulting business. I've never met a customer on site, I work 100% at home. They send me their devices, buy whatever compiler licenses so I can do the work. I work when I want to, so if I want to take a week off to work on a project at home, or take a trip I do.

Last year was crazy, I moved to Wyoming to drastically lower my taxes, even Nevada was not low enough. Bought a house, while taking care of multiple clients sometimes work ing 260 hours a month. Billables were just under $250k last year. Now that I'm settled in the new house, which cost less that just property tax payments in CA, I've cut back the work to maybe $150k this year, which will free me up to migrate my Objective-C app to HTML5. All the valuable code exists on the game server anyway, so no risk there.

Was it worth just quitting and going for it? Absolutely. Did it turn out exactly as planned? Not even close.

If anyone else out there is trying to decide and wants to know more about my adventure, send me an email. I'm happy to share what I've learned if it helps others to escape the rat race too...

I have never been asked to do a technical interview before being offered a gig. They ask about my experience, from there they tell me about the problem they need solved. So far I've always been familiar with their problem, I will immediately follow up with a high level description of how I will solve their problem (this is during the meeting and without doing research).

For example my most recent gig, the client, a start-up, had a product already in the field. However for development and manufacturing testing they did not have any tools to test the device. They wanted a tool to manually control the device, if possible they wanted a custom script environment added, and they had some device driver issues. Because they already had working code for all of the functionality of the device I explained that I could port the existing code over to the test application. Based on the scripting requirement I recommended using IronPython, Scintilla .net for a nice context highlighting text edit interface, and for their device driver problem it was a matter of walking the device driver stack to make sure the intended device was selected as they had multiple identical devices attached. The hardest part was that the device was written in C++, but they wanted the tool written in C# using .NET. So I had to translate the working device while I was creating the tool. They did not question my ability after I quickly followed their explanation of what the device was, how it worked and what they wanted. Within a couple of days they emailed me a contract, and about a week later they shipped their hardware as I work from home and in another state.

I have turned down gigs because I don't "work" in California, I refuse to pay the ridiculous taxes and deal with all the paperwork. I live in Nevada where there are no state income taxes, one less headache to worry about. Telephone, email and Skype are all that are required to communicate.

As for doing a technical interview? If asked I would never do one, I am a professional. No one asks a Lawyer to solve some legal problems and write example contracts, no one asks a doctor to do some sample examinations and provide a written diagnosis. I have references, I will talk about past work as long as I am not giving away any confidential information. If that is not good enough than I don't need to waste my time with the client. They are free at any time to have me stop working for them if they are not satisfied, considering that recruiters charge 15-20% of a years salary to bring someone on board it's quite a bit cheaper to have me do some work and decide I'm not living up to their expectations (that's never happened).

I have always billed hourly, daily or weekly. I would never offer a "project" price. The client never really knows what they want, they just think they do. In order to properly estimate a project you have to know everything that needs to be done, then you have to draw up an iron-clad contract that prevents the client from claiming something new was, or should have been included in the price. It also gives the client no incentive to be economical with your time. By billing hourly their incentives are aligned with yours, they will want to waste the least amount of time possible in order to keep their billable hours down, they will drop features they really don't need, they will be unable to deny payment claiming the project wasn't completed. After all they are paying for your time, not for the result. The caveat of course is that you really have to deliver, and as you do they forget about the hourly billing. As long as they have problems and you keep solving them, they will just focus on getting their pain points taken care of.

Something else to consider, if you want to make real money you are a "consultant" not a freelancer and certainly not a contractor. Also create an LLC or corp, I have found that clients don't flinch at all when I am a real business, nor do they try to offer me a job instead of a consulting gig. For 5 years I could not pick up a single side gig because the potential client would always offer me a job, but refuse to offer me the gig they claimed I was coming in for. I would always explain to them that I needed to make "real" money, trading one low paying salaried job for another slightly higher paying salaried job did not help me one bit. I needed the ability to make 2-3 times what the typical senior software engineer makes. They would get offended, I would leave. Funny enough it wasn't until I quit my salaried job, with no gigs lined up, no plans to get another job that the gigs started to happen.

The company I spoke of did have a yearly review process, I also waited for that yearly review to come up before I objected to the pathetic raises which barely tracked inflation. When one starts out at entry level, one should quickly gain significant raises commensurate with ones skills and abilities. This company clearly tried to get away with doing as little as possible, I also happened to know that senior software engineers at that company in Colorado were making $120k+. Had I kept my mouth shut, sure, in a decade or two I also would have been making $120k+ but in 2020's dollars not 2000's dollars. The actual salary doesn't matter as much as what those dollars can buy.

As for Microsoft, I have no idea how their process works or if they even reward ambition and results. I did work for a larger company later, 6 months in they gave me a $13k raise and 6 months after that another $20k raise when they made me a manager. I never once brought up my salary, what I did do was point out what I thought was being done wrong and then proposed how to fix it. In this case I went to the CTO as my manager really wasn't managing the product at all, I thanked him for hiring me but told him I didn't think I was going to stay. He asked why and I described what it was we were doing and all the problems it was causing. I then followed it up with a solution of how to manage the product. I did not expect, nor even go in there with thoughts of taking over my manager's job. It was just an honest assessment of how to fix and drastically improve the efficiency of the group. One week later the CTO came to see me, privately. He told me they were very impressed with the work I was doing and they wanted to give me the opportunity to manage the product and the engineers working on that project. The first 6 months were probationary, after that I would be made full manager and get a salary increase. At that company, I never needed to negotiate my salary. They were always generous, they listened and were very proactive in keeping their employees happy.

In general though, my experience has been more like the first job. The companies, while having a yearly review process are very stingy. When it's time to hire a manager they bring in someone from the outside as they don't want to hire another engineer and retrain them.

As for Ben Horowitz's article, I would have quickly left any company that followed his advice. Telling me to wait, the company policies etc. I would see them for what they are, a stalling tactic. I would recognize that I was being "handled". With me I voice my opinion, I lay out the facts. If they are ignored, I don't complain, I don't bring it up again. I just quietly look for a new job, and any counter-offers after that point are immediately turned down. As things have gone according to plan, I don't even have to deal with this anymore, because now I have my own company, products and clients.

This is horrible advice, men and women both must push for a raise, companies will absolutely under no circumstances just give away raises because "it's the right thing to do".

Case in point, I am a white male. When I started working at a company over a decade ago I also started at the same time as another white male. I started at $55k, he started at $52k I negotiated for an additional $3k from the start. The first year I assumed they would give me a good raise since I was hired at entry level wages, I got a $2k raise. I was livid. The next year I made a huge deal about the tiny raise, I ended up getting $5k, now up to $62k. Year after $3k, again not happy. During that year there was a "salary freeze", I told my boss that was unacceptable, if I didn't get a promotion I would be leaving. So I got another $5k during the salary freeze. The next year still not happy, I made the same ultimatum, This time $10k. Up to $80k, I ended up leaving a couple of months later for a management position.

In contrast that other software engineer? He got $2k per year, except for the salary freeze year, they made it up the year after. He left after 5 years making $62k

Me -> $55k, $57k, $62k, $65k, $70k, $80k

Him -> $52k, $54k, $56k, $58k, $58k, $62k

So, apparently by being the squeaky wheel I ended up making an additional $18k a year by the time we both left. Plus all the additional money I made the preceding years.

Lesson here? Make yourself very valuable to the company, and then make them pay. They won't do it of their own free will. Look at it from their perspective, if you don't say anything why would they do anything? Obviously you are happy if you are not complaining.

The problem for women is that, in general, they don't speak up, they don't negotiate for salary increases they just accept what is offered. What we really need to do is to teach women how to understand what they are really worth, and to negotiate from a position of strength.

You're starting a job? Good, so your education is just beginning. It took about 5 years for me to feel comfortable, and really become proficient at software engineering. The job is not an end.

Years 5 through 12, I developed my skills in project management and people management. Being able to code is one thing, being able to plan out a project takes it to a whole new level. Instead of a 5-10k line of code project you are now working on 100-500k LOC projects.

In my late 30's I am now off on my own, started my own company and I am close to releasing my first product. The keys to making this happen are the extremely valuable experience I acquired by "just being an employee", also I saved about $200k before I quit "working for the man".

Getting a job is not an end, like I said it's the beginning. How much you learn from the experience is up to you. If you really want to eventually do something big focus on making every situation a learning opportunity, also don't get sucked in by the lifer's. Don't waste money on fancy cars, don't buy a house, don't get married. If you tie yourself down with debt and responsibilities you may very well find yourself working for the man until you retire.