Hello HN. I'm posing this question here because I identify the most with this community and I want to see if this is common among those in my in-group.
I am in my very early 20s and I do exceedingly well for myself, even by software engineer standards. My life is overall very fulfilling and happy, with the exception of one deep rooted anxiety that comes out before I go to sleep.
Every time I try to go to sleep, I find that my mind begins contemplating death very heavily. I begin thinking about how much time I have left to live, envisioning myself growing old and feeble, and thinking about how fragile my body is. I think about how my heart could stop, or a blood vessel in my brain could hemorrhage in my sleep.
My mind also drifts to very strange things, like wondering how I would know if my consciousness is not annihilated every night, and all of my memories are not simply deposited into a new brain in a new simulation (but not "me") in the morning.
I am terrified of mortality, and despite being so young I think about it in fear every single night. I don't know why I am so fixated on it at this age.
Does anyone else have any experience with this?
I am in my very early 20s and I do exceedingly well for myself, even by software engineer standards. My life is overall very fulfilling and happy, with the exception of one deep rooted anxiety that comes out before I go to sleep.
Every time I try to go to sleep, I find that my mind begins contemplating death very heavily. I begin thinking about how much time I have left to live, envisioning myself growing old and feeble, and thinking about how fragile my body is. I think about how my heart could stop, or a blood vessel in my brain could hemorrhage in my sleep.
My mind also drifts to very strange things, like wondering how I would know if my consciousness is not annihilated every night, and all of my memories are not simply deposited into a new brain in a new simulation (but not "me") in the morning.
I am terrified of mortality, and despite being so young I think about it in fear every single night. I don't know why I am so fixated on it at this age.
Does anyone else have any experience with this?