For me, it was in college.
By the way you've been talking about your life progression, I assume you live in the Bay Area. I also assume, from the way you've been talking, that you're interested in cis women. If so, I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you: the ratios are not in your favor there. IIRC Sunnyvale was one of the worst disparities in the country.
If this is in fact the case, the easiest (though not best) way to change your situation is to move. Since that is probably impractical, my next piece of advice is to stop looking in places that are just duplicates of where you work. I can't imagine a worse place than a language meetup group. Get some interests outside of the tech industry. Like, ideally, get something completely unrelated. This actually helps you out in several ways: not only are you going to meet more women, but you're going to meet more people in general that you wouldn't normally meet because you live in a tech bubble.
My wife is not a tech person; she worked as a supermarket clerk when I lived in the Bay Area. I don't say this because there's something special about supermarket clerks, but to point out that there are great people out there that have nothing to do with tech and if you live inside of a tech bubble the only person you're depriving is yourself.
By the way you've been talking about your life progression, I assume you live in the Bay Area. I also assume, from the way you've been talking, that you're interested in cis women. If so, I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you: the ratios are not in your favor there. IIRC Sunnyvale was one of the worst disparities in the country.
If this is in fact the case, the easiest (though not best) way to change your situation is to move. Since that is probably impractical, my next piece of advice is to stop looking in places that are just duplicates of where you work. I can't imagine a worse place than a language meetup group. Get some interests outside of the tech industry. Like, ideally, get something completely unrelated. This actually helps you out in several ways: not only are you going to meet more women, but you're going to meet more people in general that you wouldn't normally meet because you live in a tech bubble.
My wife is not a tech person; she worked as a supermarket clerk when I lived in the Bay Area. I don't say this because there's something special about supermarket clerks, but to point out that there are great people out there that have nothing to do with tech and if you live inside of a tech bubble the only person you're depriving is yourself.