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Comment by hsrob1

I'm guessing English is not your first language. The site is littered with dozens of grammatical errors.

"Your website is like a leaking hole. And it's leaking customers with bunches of money." - awkward.

..."we will make your website 'money printing machine' for your business." - _a_ money printing machine

"And this is what you will get: more revenue and more customers." - awkward

"Less then 3% users buy your product." Less THAN 3% OF users...

"Why other 97% don't by from you?" Why DON'T THE other 97% BUY from you?

"Research is primary thing we do for our clients." -too simplistic.

"And we do this to confidently understand you." - this is a strange transition, and an awkward sentence.

"every solution we apply to your Online Business is because data showed us to do that. " - very awkward

"Every Action of them" - what?

"There is going to be a lot of complex information collected, but we will process it and make it visual and clear. Not only we will benefit from this intelligent data - you too will, comfortably sitting in the chair, see how is your business functioning anytime and anywhere." - rewrite this entire paragraph, it's a mess.

The "Survey & Feedback" box is a complete disaster, so I'll just put the worst of it here... rewrite the whole thing:

"We will setup infrastructure for communicating with any person visiting your website." - awkward

"Why the customer haven't bought anything and left?" - ??? Find out why customers left without making a purchase.

"Before, you just haven't knew, but now when you are working with us, it's not an answer anymore." - I... don't even know, I think you mean it's not a question anymore? And "just haven't knew" should be something like 'you had no idea'... but the whole sentence here is... not good.

"If he leaves - we will know why. If he buys something - good - but we still need to know why." Don't use gender-specific pronouns.

"Because those decisions determines if you will get CC number or not." - not only is this incorrect on several levels English-wise, but that's really not how you want to refer to "closing a sale." The way it's written sounds more like you're skimming credit card numbers for fraudulent purposes

To be continued...

parent hsrob1 12 years ago

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