With regards to the relationship, I've been in a similar place. I'd say it takes about five years to truly get over such a profound loss. It's really true that ending a deeply-felt romantic relationship is not much different from grieving a death. I've heard good things about the book, "How to Survive the Loss of a Love" ($7 on Amazon). Also, Zoloft worked wonders for me at a similar time in my life.
Also, get off /r/programming. It's the most emotionally unhealthy thing I can think of for a software developer. It's nothing but a self-aggrandizing, alpha-geek shitfest.
Also, get off /r/programming. It's the most emotionally unhealthy thing I can think of for a software developer. It's nothing but a self-aggrandizing, alpha-geek shitfest.