Money is a store of value, a medium of exchange, and a unit of account.
A store of value is something you could accept in payment for work and hold on to.
A medium of exchange is something a shoemaker can use to obtain bread from a baker who doesn't want shoes.
A unit of account is something with a value stable enough that you can measure the value of arbitrary goods with it; like the Bloomberg article says, it's what enables a cheesemaker to put a price tag on cheese without forcing her to become a currency speculator.
A store of value is something you could accept in payment for work and hold on to.
A medium of exchange is something a shoemaker can use to obtain bread from a baker who doesn't want shoes.
A unit of account is something with a value stable enough that you can measure the value of arbitrary goods with it; like the Bloomberg article says, it's what enables a cheesemaker to put a price tag on cheese without forcing her to become a currency speculator.
Which of these functions does Bitcoin have?