I'm going to put this in all caps because you are not paying my day rate: YOU ARE AN ABUSE SURVIVOR.
Find professional help (NOW) to starting approaching it and dealing with it.
Find professional help (NOW) to help manage your mental disorder (depression) which carries an enormous and present risk of self-harm.
Get whatever the fuck is wrong with your foot fixed, and start walking out the door on the regular.
You appear to be bright, talented, and a capable writer. Resume applying those gifts to the people around you instead of yourself. You are the best person in your own life, now be the best person in other people's lives.
Find professional help (NOW) to starting approaching it and dealing with it.
Find professional help (NOW) to help manage your mental disorder (depression) which carries an enormous and present risk of self-harm.
Get whatever the fuck is wrong with your foot fixed, and start walking out the door on the regular.
You appear to be bright, talented, and a capable writer. Resume applying those gifts to the people around you instead of yourself. You are the best person in your own life, now be the best person in other people's lives.