Matrix has been my almost exclusive chat solution for the last several years to talk to all friends coworkers and familt and it is a major upgrade to IRC in most ways, while also giving me end to end encryption when I want it, and the ability to self host and federate and bridge to other networks. Self hosted at two companies as well and works fine. Those are the features that matter most to me, and Discord does not do any of them.
Whatever issues you are experiencing will not get better if you are unable to describe them in words more detailed than "sucks."
Whatever issues you are experiencing will not get better if you are unable to describe them in words more detailed than "sucks."