I'm working through something similar right now. I like your thought about shifting away from the fixed mindset. I'm also realizing a lot of this, maybe all of this, comes down to identity and ego.
I'm taking an evening class right now in computer science at a local university. Without mincing words, I am getting my ass kicked by it. Absolutely handed to me. It's proofs-based, and I don't have much of a background in this (even during my time in college back in the day, I didn't take these types of courses).
I'm getting stuck all the time, finding it hard to understand the lectures, and then avoiding studying altogether because it's not "clicking" for me. But if I'm being honest, what I'm doing above all is avoiding studying because of how painful it feels, and how much of my own identity as a "smart" person comes into question. I've never really had trouble with coursework, and would even say a lot of it came naturally to me, so from that I built up a little castle wall of an identity wherein I'm a "smart person who learns things easily."
Yet here I am unable to learn this easily at all. I'm discovering that I need to tweak my mindset and keep my identity smaller. Why do I have to be a smart person? Why can't I just be a person who wants to learn something that he's finding challenging? Is it helping me to belittle myself by telling myself that I "should" understand this quickly? Or is it just leading me to running away from the whole thing altogether, thereby worsening the situation?
Sorry for the rant / writeup. I'm processing all of this in real-time myself, and trying to get myself back to studying...
I'm taking an evening class right now in computer science at a local university. Without mincing words, I am getting my ass kicked by it. Absolutely handed to me. It's proofs-based, and I don't have much of a background in this (even during my time in college back in the day, I didn't take these types of courses).
I'm getting stuck all the time, finding it hard to understand the lectures, and then avoiding studying altogether because it's not "clicking" for me. But if I'm being honest, what I'm doing above all is avoiding studying because of how painful it feels, and how much of my own identity as a "smart" person comes into question. I've never really had trouble with coursework, and would even say a lot of it came naturally to me, so from that I built up a little castle wall of an identity wherein I'm a "smart person who learns things easily."
Yet here I am unable to learn this easily at all. I'm discovering that I need to tweak my mindset and keep my identity smaller. Why do I have to be a smart person? Why can't I just be a person who wants to learn something that he's finding challenging? Is it helping me to belittle myself by telling myself that I "should" understand this quickly? Or is it just leading me to running away from the whole thing altogether, thereby worsening the situation?
Sorry for the rant / writeup. I'm processing all of this in real-time myself, and trying to get myself back to studying...