This is probably very unwelcome advice, but I would strongly recommend a spiritual practice of some kind. When things are wretched, slowing down for a moment and turning inward can help. Prayer (to whatever form makes sense) or at least Yoga (something that isn't passive) may be more helpful than meditation in these circumstances, but I appreciate this might not be right for you.
This is probably very unwelcome advice, but I would strongly recommend a spiritual practice of some kind. When things are wretched, slowing down for a moment and turning inward can help. Prayer (to whatever form makes sense) or at least Yoga (something that isn't passive) may be more helpful than meditation in these circumstances, but I appreciate this might not be right for you.