There is only one thyroid ... presumably you're referring to the two lobes.
There are generally clear discriminators determining whether a lobectomy or total thyroidectomy is called for. What is missing here is the detailed discussion with the two doctors of exactly why they were recommending their course of action and what attempts were made to reach consensus. "everyone wanted to believe" is not the way to go about such things ... but there's a good chance that the evidence favored the less radical course. A lobectomy has considerably less radical consequences and so is strongly preferred if a total thyroidectomy isn't indicated. But it's not uncommon for the pathology report of the removed lobe to indicate high-risk features that call for a "completion thyroidectomy", which is what your ex-wife had. It's not some nefarious conspiracy to make more money.
There are generally clear discriminators determining whether a lobectomy or total thyroidectomy is called for. What is missing here is the detailed discussion with the two doctors of exactly why they were recommending their course of action and what attempts were made to reach consensus. "everyone wanted to believe" is not the way to go about such things ... but there's a good chance that the evidence favored the less radical course. A lobectomy has considerably less radical consequences and so is strongly preferred if a total thyroidectomy isn't indicated. But it's not uncommon for the pathology report of the removed lobe to indicate high-risk features that call for a "completion thyroidectomy", which is what your ex-wife had. It's not some nefarious conspiracy to make more money.