Two big things I'd fix - 5 undifferentiated lines can be difficult to parse. Just visually changing the centre line would help structure the whole thing. Also, why force someone learning piano to learn two different clefs? Just use Treble and Sub-Bass.
I suppose for me, some of the time I'd be thinking about start/stop times rather than durations, and I'd find it unintuitive that when a note starts is determined by the way the notes before it look rather than the way it looks, but fixing that would be a much bigger change with more downsides.
I suppose for me, some of the time I'd be thinking about start/stop times rather than durations, and I'd find it unintuitive that when a note starts is determined by the way the notes before it look rather than the way it looks, but fixing that would be a much bigger change with more downsides.