Many years ago I was attending pre-surgery for a hip replacement surgery for my sister, who had known severe reactions to anesthesia (actually required a tracheotomy for a previous reaction). The anesthesiologist asked to speak to us privately and informed us that in their opinion, my sister had maybe a 1/3 chance of not surviving the surgery. They also mentioned that this was a breach of protocol and they could get in trouble for talking to us directly, but their conscience wouldn't let them do otherwise. We returned and asked the surgeon if they really thought the risk justified any potential benefit. The surgeon shrugged and said "probably not, feel free to call it off". Keep in mind that nobody on the care team had previously discussed any risk or indeed any tradeoffs whatsoever. This was at one of the best-regarded children's hospitals in the USA.
The lesson for me is that you must advocate for yourself and your loved ones in the medical system, because doctors will not do it for you; they may not even perform the most basic risk assessments. And you have to try to quantify risk yourself, because doctors will refuse to give you the slightest hint of any number attached to risk (I know, I've tried many times).
The lesson for me is that you must advocate for yourself and your loved ones in the medical system, because doctors will not do it for you; they may not even perform the most basic risk assessments. And you have to try to quantify risk yourself, because doctors will refuse to give you the slightest hint of any number attached to risk (I know, I've tried many times).