My "arbitrary structs" thing is exactly what Aeltoth was discussing in the Discord a couple days ago.
For the other part, I am basically saying I don't like, if one has a FK from Posts to Users, the ORM semantics of having user.posts automatically eagerly populated OR Deferred. I personally prefer to write SQL DSL in whatever language I am using whenever there is a join and explicitly add gather and add the posts. But I should probably get over that. Most of the time that is more cumbersome and having them eagerly there reliable is usually what I want anyways.
For the other part, I am basically saying I don't like, if one has a FK from Posts to Users, the ORM semantics of having user.posts automatically eagerly populated OR Deferred. I personally prefer to write SQL DSL in whatever language I am using whenever there is a join and explicitly add gather and add the posts. But I should probably get over that. Most of the time that is more cumbersome and having them eagerly there reliable is usually what I want anyways.