IIRC `MERGE` has been part of SQL for a while, but Postgres opted against adding it for many years because it's syntax is inherently non-atomic within Postgres's MVCC model.
This is somewhat a personal preference, but I would just use `INSERT ... ON CONFLICT` and design my data model around it as much as I can. If I absolutely need the more general features of `MERGE` and _can't_ design an alternative using `INSERT ... ON CONLFICT` then I would take a bit of extra time to ensure I handle `MERGE` edge cases (failures) gracefully.
https://pganalyze.com/blog/5mins-postgres-15-merge-vs-insert...
This is somewhat a personal preference, but I would just use `INSERT ... ON CONFLICT` and design my data model around it as much as I can. If I absolutely need the more general features of `MERGE` and _can't_ design an alternative using `INSERT ... ON CONLFICT` then I would take a bit of extra time to ensure I handle `MERGE` edge cases (failures) gracefully.