Comment by tptacek

The answer to this question is interesting, and it's that not serving HTTP doesn't actually help. The attacker HTTPS contemplates controls whether victims see SYN+ACK packets in response to their 80/tcp SYNs. TCP itself isn't authenticated. So you need something "sticky" in the browser to remind it not to try 80/tcp, and thus risk being bamboozled by a MITM attacker.