For me ego-wise I don't feel like I ever will be senior. I have worked with people who claim to be senior and are barely able to function so it's funny. I have worked professionally in some capacity for almost 10 years. Right now I'm working with cloudformation templates. I have seen myself improving over time and recognize my own older-self bad code. Learning faster. But yeah it's one of those things like I'm the quiet guy in a pack. I'm just lucky I lift so I'm big and people don't mess with me but I'm pretty meek as a person. This job is about merit, I'm not saying physical appearance should matter. But I'm emphasizing my self-esteem problem.
Counter to myself, a co-worker of mine who's been at the company I just joined longer than me, he gets to set things up, make decisions. Then he has to change directions and hands it to me, I ask him "how did you come up with this" and he says "I asked ChatGPT" and I'm like what?... But it is a learning tool and doing new things (this case was a starting point for Apache Airflow DAG work). But that's a case of "I'm senior".
I did read this article and I get the idea. I still have that problem where I ask what to do (mid) and a lot of times it's because I don't know if I can make a decision, is my choice good kind of thing. Uncertainty but again merit or ego?
I'm also fine not being anybody, stress-wise and finance. Not sure what the pay jump is where I'm at. Wouldn't mind a coast-type job as I have pretty good perks (gym, walks, beer on tap, hybrid) and I can pursue my other projects outside of work like robotics that I can't do at my day job (agentic work lately).
Alright I'll be done ranting, I have been a one-person dev for a startup that died it was a WebRTC document signing platform, damn that was a great project, had like 7 different repos of different tech even wrote a wrapper around Apple CUPS. So tragic when projects go nowhere and get shelved.
I think the best thing I have learned is to put ego aside (regarding avoiding arguments) and just go with the flow. In my tense environment anyway, I need money so I need this job. I was able to get along with my manager who I was having problems with in the beginning. He's one of those very blunt, direct people, you'd consider an asshole. But I aspire to be that you know a driver that makes shit happen. Like a Steve Jobs although I'm not really an asshole, I don't like seeing other people in pain. Back to self-esteem.
Counter to myself, a co-worker of mine who's been at the company I just joined longer than me, he gets to set things up, make decisions. Then he has to change directions and hands it to me, I ask him "how did you come up with this" and he says "I asked ChatGPT" and I'm like what?... But it is a learning tool and doing new things (this case was a starting point for Apache Airflow DAG work). But that's a case of "I'm senior".
I did read this article and I get the idea. I still have that problem where I ask what to do (mid) and a lot of times it's because I don't know if I can make a decision, is my choice good kind of thing. Uncertainty but again merit or ego?
I'm also fine not being anybody, stress-wise and finance. Not sure what the pay jump is where I'm at. Wouldn't mind a coast-type job as I have pretty good perks (gym, walks, beer on tap, hybrid) and I can pursue my other projects outside of work like robotics that I can't do at my day job (agentic work lately).
Alright I'll be done ranting, I have been a one-person dev for a startup that died it was a WebRTC document signing platform, damn that was a great project, had like 7 different repos of different tech even wrote a wrapper around Apple CUPS. So tragic when projects go nowhere and get shelved.
I think the best thing I have learned is to put ego aside (regarding avoiding arguments) and just go with the flow. In my tense environment anyway, I need money so I need this job. I was able to get along with my manager who I was having problems with in the beginning. He's one of those very blunt, direct people, you'd consider an asshole. But I aspire to be that you know a driver that makes shit happen. Like a Steve Jobs although I'm not really an asshole, I don't like seeing other people in pain. Back to self-esteem.