This isn't an inherent property of ZFS at all. I have made heavy use of SQLite for years (on illumos systems) without ever hitting this, and I would never counsel anybody to disable sync writes: it absolutely can lead to data loss under some conditions and is not safe to do unless you understand what it means.
What you're describing sounds like a bug specific to whichever OS you're using that has a port of ZFS.
What you're describing sounds like a bug specific to whichever OS you're using that has a port of ZFS.