A bit unorthodox advice, start lifting weights. Heavy. Aim to build strength, not muscles or look. 40s is a great age to do this, better than 50s for sure.
For men, physical strength gives more confidence, and problems which you perceive hard will look less so when you are able to deadlift 500lb. And yeah, don't quit your current job without getting new one. Bad idea. And don't give away anything for free to your employer.If they want to fire you, make them sweat (in some places it is not easy process).
ps: speaking of taking 3-6-12 months off advises. Irrelevant of your situation, I think we are living through interesting part of the "hockey stick" curve when being out for one year could mean end of the tech career. Things move way too fast, and gaining velocity.
ps: speaking of taking 3-6-12 months off advises. Irrelevant of your situation, I think we are living through interesting part of the "hockey stick" curve when being out for one year could mean end of the tech career. Things move way too fast, and gaining velocity.