You make a lot of interesting (and colorful) points, but I'm not sure crisis is the right word. When you write:
> Masculinity has always been in crisis and that crisis has been used reliably to sell men all kinds of stupid shit for a century and if we're honest, probably a LOT longer than that.
...I feel like I could change it like this and it would be equally "true":
> Femininity has always been in crisis and that crisis has been used reliably to sell women all kinds of stupid shit for a century and if we're honest, probably a LOT longer than that.
I'm not sure what it is other than some general insecurity common to humanity.
> Masculinity has always been in crisis and that crisis has been used reliably to sell men all kinds of stupid shit for a century and if we're honest, probably a LOT longer than that.
...I feel like I could change it like this and it would be equally "true":
> Femininity has always been in crisis and that crisis has been used reliably to sell women all kinds of stupid shit for a century and if we're honest, probably a LOT longer than that.
I'm not sure what it is other than some general insecurity common to humanity.