You might be looking for a kind of understanding that doesn't exist in math. John von Neumann said, "In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them." So even one of the greatest mathematicians of all time didn't feel like he "understood" concepts that he was adept at applying to both abstract and real-world problems.
This is why there are monad tutorials that use dozens of different analogies for monads, and nobody feels like they understand anything better after reading them. But if you use monads enough, eventually you get used to how they work and how to accomplish things with them. And then you stop caring if you "understand" them.
This is why there are monad tutorials that use dozens of different analogies for monads, and nobody feels like they understand anything better after reading them. But if you use monads enough, eventually you get used to how they work and how to accomplish things with them. And then you stop caring if you "understand" them.