If it helps you at all - you're definitely not alone with this, I'm going through the same "existential crisis" of sorts in my 30s.
The internet and the variety of content and dopamine sources are horrible for some people who have ADHD, myself included. So much time wasted last decade going down the rabbithole on Youtube, Wikipedia, video games, etc. with deep regrets of missing out on more important things in life like networking, socializing, trying new things, etc. Not sure if you feel that way as well.
Even with long-term medication (Vyvanse)- which I have my own personal reservations about if they really "work" or not - I still struggle with this daily.
If you're looking/asking for advice - for me, I've found that taking drastic, meaningful actions help. "ripping the bandaid off", if you're familiar with that phrase.
I've unplugged my gaming PC, threw the power cord in the trash, and challenged myself to go as long as I could without it. I purchased a lower-end laptop and dock to plug into to still have dual monitors. It's not powerful enough to play the games I want to play which was the point, but I could still run VS Code to work with Python, Javascript, spin up webservers to play around, etc.
I ended up lasting a couple of weeks before purchasing a new power cord - but I did learn to remember that I do like programming/scripting.
The lack of self-control/willpower sucks. It would be nice if there were ADHD life coaches that didn't cost an arm and a leg.
The internet and the variety of content and dopamine sources are horrible for some people who have ADHD, myself included. So much time wasted last decade going down the rabbithole on Youtube, Wikipedia, video games, etc. with deep regrets of missing out on more important things in life like networking, socializing, trying new things, etc. Not sure if you feel that way as well.
Even with long-term medication (Vyvanse)- which I have my own personal reservations about if they really "work" or not - I still struggle with this daily.
If you're looking/asking for advice - for me, I've found that taking drastic, meaningful actions help. "ripping the bandaid off", if you're familiar with that phrase.
I've unplugged my gaming PC, threw the power cord in the trash, and challenged myself to go as long as I could without it. I purchased a lower-end laptop and dock to plug into to still have dual monitors. It's not powerful enough to play the games I want to play which was the point, but I could still run VS Code to work with Python, Javascript, spin up webservers to play around, etc.
I ended up lasting a couple of weeks before purchasing a new power cord - but I did learn to remember that I do like programming/scripting.
The lack of self-control/willpower sucks. It would be nice if there were ADHD life coaches that didn't cost an arm and a leg.