It sounds like you have ended up in a bad situation. There's no real suggestion I can provide for how you can improve your situation, other than to try to find a way to disconnect. (Meetups, walking, museums, hobbies).
Maybe that means talking to a professional therapist to find out how you can handle the situation. They get paid to help you, and there is no shame in that
Maybe that means talking to a professional therapist to find out how you can handle the situation. They get paid to help you, and there is no shame in that