Yep, age 7 and 11 were peak bullying ages. Verbal and physical abuse, scapegoating. Ignored and blamed by administration. Parents from an era where “boys will be boys”.
Now: Homeless and broke. Out of work for a long time. I let people shit all over me, even in adulthood.
I was told that adulthood would be different. In fact, it was the same as childhood, but more insidious.
I pray for death being unable to commit suicide. Failed attempts. I don’t want any help. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up.
Related: is it weird that the identity of my childhood bully ostensibly exists on some dossier in possession by a big tech company, and has been used as part of a demoralization campaign? How would I even know if this had occurred intentionally? Seems to me that the information secrecy and closed source nature of social media big tech firms is ripe for abusing data as part of malicious psychological warfare: bullying on algorithmic steroids. I am quite sure that this has happened to me repeatedly (google, twitter), yet there’s no pathway to inquire, etc. no accountability, no transparency. Unlike other hn users, I don’t have insider friends at those orgs to inquire.
Now: Homeless and broke. Out of work for a long time. I let people shit all over me, even in adulthood.
I was told that adulthood would be different. In fact, it was the same as childhood, but more insidious.
I pray for death being unable to commit suicide. Failed attempts. I don’t want any help. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up.
Related: is it weird that the identity of my childhood bully ostensibly exists on some dossier in possession by a big tech company, and has been used as part of a demoralization campaign? How would I even know if this had occurred intentionally? Seems to me that the information secrecy and closed source nature of social media big tech firms is ripe for abusing data as part of malicious psychological warfare: bullying on algorithmic steroids. I am quite sure that this has happened to me repeatedly (google, twitter), yet there’s no pathway to inquire, etc. no accountability, no transparency. Unlike other hn users, I don’t have insider friends at those orgs to inquire.